Wednesday, December 5, 2012

T'is the Season to Use Santa as a Tool.

T'is the season where we recount stories of crazy hunting accidents, spend money we don't necessarily have, fight each other over the last "hot" new toy in stock, desperately plea with our children to just take a nap or go to bed or even just shut the hell up for five minutes so we can drink our coffee in something that resembles peace and quiet while knowing the entire time that the brattling probably only has about 3 minutes of non-screaming, non-shrieking, non-running around like crazy in him for the day.

After those precious moments are spent, we're screwed!  

The rest of our day will be spent chasing the brat around begging for a few more moments of quiet...or at least quieter.  

Then, like a breathe of fresh air, the little tyke will probably pass out, and for a few minutes there may actually be a little calmness in the house before the baby wakes up screaming for food or attention or just because you dared to put him down for ten minutes while he was asleep. 

And, of course, the cranky baby will without a doubt wake the toddler, and he will be just refreshed enough to raise hell for the rest of the day until it is bed time. this is an everyday type of thing with the kiddos, but there is a major difference now.

Now, we have Santa or Hanukkah Man or whoever fighting for us.

Well, more specifically, we have the threat that whoever brings presents for the brats doesn't bring as many gifts to little boys and girls who throw tantrums or drive their parents crazy in general. 

I know a few parents out there who refuse to take advantage of this godsend, but I, for one, am not above using Santa as a tool to get the boy to behave for a few more minutes everyday.  

It's a beautiful thing!

All I have to do is mention something about Santa and how he rewards little ones who listen to their parents and behave, and it works like a charm.  The Pizzmeister will calm down a little, and my sanity will return briefly.  

If I'm lucky, the boy will be calm enough so we can do some baking or pick up a few toys or something so it doesn't look like the toy box got sick and vomited in the middle of our living room floor.  

If the mention of the big man in red doesn't work I still have an ace in the hole, the internet.

photo from
Mama Bear and I found out about something called Portable North Pole. 

It's a site that sends out personalized Santa videos to your e-mail.  If my brat starts getting out of hand, and I can't reign him in a little a personalized video from Santa will do the trick every time!

It's amazing!

If you don't do the whole Santa thing, then I am sorry.  I got nothing.

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