Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Poppins vs McPhee I Choose Poppins!

Ever since we rented Mary Poppins and watched it, or tried to watch it, a dozen times I can't get all the songs out of my head, specifically "Let's Go Fly a Kite" and "Step in Time."  Disney must have employed some sort of special magic to get those songs embedded in people's brains.

Or, it may be that the older boy keeps singing those particular songs and dancing non-stop.  

I don't know...probably it's both.

Aside from the songs annoyingly stuck in my head, I have been thinking about Mary Poppins, specifically as to how much more I like it than Nanny McPhee.

Don't get me wrong.  I think Nanny McPhee is an awesome flick too, but Mary Poppins is better if only because Mary Poppins doesn't have to change her appearance through out the movie to one that is more "acceptable" to the modern idea of beauty at the end.

Yes, I understand that Nanny McPhee was supposed to physically represent the children's inner beauty through out their transformation into "good" kiddies or some sort of rot like that, and I know that Mary Poppins started out attractive, so it's not a fair comparison, but, come on!

The McPhee film makers blew an awesome opportunity to toss the idea that only beautiful people are important and loved and worthy on its head, and they failed miserably.  They made it so Nanny McPhee was more desirable/lovable the more attractive she got.

That saddens me because she was always the same, strong, confident person through out the movie.  Only her appearance changed.

At least Mary Poppins didn't have to change her appearance to become "hotter," effectively sending a message that a pretty face and a thin body is as important or more so than a strong, good character and confidence when determining a person's worthiness or desirability.

But, of course, Mary Poppins was already pretty and thin as well as strong and confident in the movie to begin with, which begs the question, "Had Julie Andrews not been pretty and thin, would the Mary Poppins film makers still have given her the role of Mary Poppins based solely on her talent?"

I'm afraid that even if I could get an answer to that question I wouldn't want to know it. 

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I'm a Family Man!

Oh man!  I am so old!

Is this how the mirror sees me?
This morning while the boys and I were brushing our teeth and stuff I looked in the mirror and was startled by the good looking stranger I saw staring back at me like a creeper with his glasses pushed up on the top of his head not because it looks cool, but because if he brushes his teeth with them on the right way his 11 month old brat snatches them and tries to throw them in anything containing water.  

Usually, that means the monster either heads straight for the dog water or the toilet with them.


It's just better to push them up.

Yep, that's probably what the mirror sees every morning
Then, sure enough, another rugrat pops up out of no where and wants me to brush my teeth while holding him and his brother.

Needless to say, our morning tooth brushing regime probably takes longer than it could, but it usually gets done...kind of.

Anyway, as I brushed my teeth with the brats clinging to me like marmosets I remembered my morning ritual I had when I still lived with my mammy and pappy, and I was still just a dumb, asshat kid, thinking the world was somehow mine for the taking.

Yep.  I had all these grandiose plans, and I envisioned myself being all these different people doing all sorts of important things.  Realistically though, when it comes down to it, I just wanted to matter; to be important.

Anyway, of course not a single of the visions of my future came true, and how I turned out, thus far, wasn't even on my radar then.

In fact, if you would have had a crystal ball and told my 17 year old self my future he would have laughed at you and said, "No way man! I'm going to be important!"

Looking back, I'd grab that little punk ass and shake him, saying all the while, "Get your head out of your ass!"  

I'd have more to say to my 17 year old self too, like, "Knock off the tough guy act!  You look stupid, and you're not impressing anybody!" and "If you really want to matter you have to stop thinking only about yourself! You'll never matter to anyone unless they matter to you!" and a few other useful tid bits of advice that I am sure the 17  year old me would just ignore because, like I said, I was an asshat.  (Still am)

Anyway, today as I brush my teeth, or try to, while holding my shenanigan filled brats and thinking of the 17 year old version of me, I am torn between laughing and hanging my head with shame.

No.  I am not ashamed of who I am or that none of my plans for the future panned out.  I am ashamed of who I was and who I wanted to become.  I am ashamed that I was so stupid and delusional and that it took a swift kick in the ass by life to straighten me up.

I may not have a lot of money, but I have never felt more important in my life, and I have never been happier.  I'm a daddy.  I have two awesome rugrats that adore me almost as much as I adore them.  I have a wonderful wife that I love tremendously even though she's a huge pain in the ass, and I don't want anything else.  

My 17 year old self with all his ambitions and ideas of what is important can suck it.  

I just want my family.  That's what's important  That's what matters to me.  Everything else is just a side dish.  These people I surround myself with and matter so much to me, and who I matter to, are the main course.  

It couldn't get better than this.  I'm a family man!

Happy belated Father's Day!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Our Weekend Get Away is Over, and, Man, I'm Pooped!

This past weekend I had the chance to learn a few things while attending an art show in Buffalo, NY

First  thing I learned is that people from downstate expect you to maneuver around them because they will never scoot to the side to make it easier for anyone to get by.  It doesn't matter if you're in a wheel chair, perfectly able bodied, or a guy, like me, walking with a cane and pushing a stroller. They don't care.  They're equal opportunity, and the only way to get them to step aside is to physically make them because they can't hear you when you ask if you can just scoot by no matter how loud you ask or how many times you say please.

Secondly, I came to the realization that I really really want cable now just so I can have the animal planet channel.

Why just the animal planet channel?

Because I spent the whole weekend watching shows like "Swamp'd" and "Call of the Wildman," and now I'm hooked! There is just something about these shows that feels familiar and homey to me.

The third thing I learned this past weekend is that sometimes going out of your way to experience a new place is well worth it.

This is a tunnel that leads to a special viewing area for kids
inside the Canadian Lynx exhibit.  Wicked Cool!
Aside from the art show, we stopped into Rochester, NY to visit the zoo, and had a great time! The boys loved it, Mama Bear loved it, and even an old fuddy-duddy like me thoroughly enjoyed myself. 

It was certainly worth the side trip!

Two-zy and Auntie Em at the Aquarium
We also took a side trip out to Niagara Falls, NY and visited the aquarium out there with some close friends, which was awesome!  It's always nice to spend an afternoon with people you don't get to spend time with all that often.  It makes a nice afternoon get away that much more special.

Here's a few more photos of the Zoo and maybe Aquarium too

Lazy Rhinos

Mama Bear and Boys in front of the Rhinoceros exhibit

Playing the musical Aligator

Just before the Safari

Polar Bears or seals or something

Mama Bear At the Polar Bear Exhibit

Friendly Neighborhood woodchuck

Wicked Awesome Double decker bus at the Lion exhibit

The only other photo I have of the Aquarium.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Two is Better than One...If by Better You Mean More Tiring

Holy smokes!  I forgot to post last week!

I know, it must have been horrible for you all.  I'm sorry.  Maybe I will post two times this week to make up for it.  But, then again, I probably won't because I am lazy, and now that Two-zy has been up and walking for about a month, maybe 2-3 weeks (I can't remember honestly.  Yeah, I know I'm a terrible father.), I just seem to ooze out energy.  

Is it like that with you all too?  

I mean the second brat just seems more tiring to me.  It wasn't all that bad when Two-zy was all lumpish and just sat around all day, but now that the little brat is up and walking around, holy crap is it exhausticating to chase him around all day.

Well, to be honest it's not just chasing Two-zy around that is tiring.   Chasing Two-zy and his hellion brother, Pizzmeister, around is exhausting.  It just seems like the two of them together are just one bundle of bad ideas where somebody always get hurt or will get hurt if an adult type doesn't intervene.

It's strange to consider myself as an adult type person, but I kind of have to being as there is no one else around to assume the role.  I guess in my mind I still feel like the smug, little, assholish teeny bopper I was in highschool and definitely not the hugely overweight, lame-o 32 year old that I am actually.  

Some of the things that come out of my mouth these days just seem so weird.  How the hell did I become the voice of reason?  Never in a million years would I have thought that I'd be the one saying, "Hey man, you're going to hurt yourself if you jump off of that." or "Dude, you might better get off of that because you're going to fall."

And, of course, the Pizzmeister always replies, "Don't worry daddy.  I won't fall."  Of course, he usually is saying that while he is falling or momentarily before he falls, and instead of telling him "I told you so," I pick him up and snuggle him in an effort to make him feel better.

Then I think to myself, "Oh man! Where's the other one?! I  just put him down a second ago.  He couldn't have gone far...could he?"  

Sure enough, Two-zy, seeing that I am distracted for a moment, will take off, heading in the direction of the nearest danger, which is usually the stairs or anywhere where he can pull something down onto himself.  

Now, before you get all uppity and start yelling that I should have a baby gate, let me tell you this.  I do have a baby gate.  In fact, we have many baby gates set up through out the house, but I also have a three year old who knows how to take the baby gates down, and I have a Houdini baby who somehow either occasionally goes under or over them in the five seconds I take my eyes off of him to comfort the Pizzmeister, get snacks, milk, or what have you.

The little bugger is sneaky.

And, he always has this self-satisfied smirk on his face every time I catch him where he doesn't belong.  It always stings too.  Being out smarted by an 11 month old sucks.