Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Admitting You Have a Problem is the First Step

Apeshit: (according to urbandictionary.com)
A state of anger and rage that produces behavior more closely resembling that of an enraged ape than a human.

From the habit of enraged apes of flinging their own feces at their object of anger (if you haven't experienced this phenomenon first hand consider yourself blessed).
Billy-Bob went apeshit when Jimmy-Joe puked up four moon pies on his '68 Dodge Dart.

Apeshit: (according to Just a Dizzy Dad and Family)
(Verb) To apply an unnecessary amount of force mechanically to the point of mechanical failure; to over tighten; to break tools by applying too much force.

(i.e.) You broke the emergency break cable because you apeshitted the e-break lever up into place./When you apeshit the lid onto the pickle jar I cannot open the jar./ The ratchet broke because you apeshitted the bolt down, and the ratchet couldn't handle the torque.

So, after Mama Bear gave me a a good stern talking to last night, intervention style, I have come to the conclusion that she may be right about me.  It is time for me to change my wicked ways.  

Well, either I change or we go broke fixing the stuff that I break.  I just may really have a problem, and it is time to admit it.

I am a chronic apeshitter.

I am not sure when I started down this destructive path of perpetually over tightening stuff, but I imagine I couldn't have been too old because I have always had a bit of a neurosis about things not being tight enough.  

For example, when I was little, around 13, I was always worried that I hadn't tightened the bolts on my bicycle enough whenever I adjusted the seat or changed the tires, so I would keep going back and tightening the screws until I was sure that I couldn't possibly tighten them anymore.

Well, this worked for me when I was a wee little 13 year old, but it wasn't too long after that that I broke my first wrench, and from there I just haven't stopped breaking stuff.

My shed is a virtual grave yard of broken tools and bent up pieces of random things that I "fixed." Some recent additions to my dead tools list include 5 screwdrivers (2 of which were my father in laws), 2 sockets (one of which was my father in laws),  1 ratchet, 1 lug wrench, 2 lug nuts, and 2 lug nut studs.

This stuff adds up quick and replacement gets pricey, definitely not something I want to worry about just before christmas!

Up until recently I always blamed the tools. if they weren't so shoddy, I wouldn't have broken them.

Well, now, after Mama Bear has pointed it out to me, I realize that is twisted logic.  If I'm the only one breaking stuff, then the problem is me; not the tools.

Thank you Mama Bear for bringing this to my attention...again.

P.s. I can't promise that I will get better or even really try.

      But, for you.  I will try to try.  :)


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