Tuesday, June 16, 2015

A Parent is a Parent, Apparently

Hi, I am a Dad.  I love my kids more than anything else in the entire world, and this shouldn't be a revelation to you.

In fact, it is really common place.  

Every parent feels the same way. Well, every good parent anyway, and it doesn't matter if you are the parent with the male parts or the parent with the female parts.  

A parent is a parent, apparently.

We all have feelings, and, believe it or not, I bet they are really similar.

We all laugh at the idea of "me" time because it is more or less a myth. Besides, our "me" time, if we ever have any, just isn't any good with out our brats running around us screaming and laughing anyway.  The happiest and most relaxed times in my life revolve around my chaotic children.  

Sure, I have gone out fishing or something with out them a few times, but I just didn't really enjoy it, and I found it odd.  I took up fishing years ago as a way to hide from people for a few  hours here and there.  I continue to fish for the opposite reason.  Now, it's a way to spend time with the loves of my life, my boys and Mama Bear.  

We all secretly relish the moments when our little ones are just a little scared and need extra big hugs and cuddles to feel more secure because comforting our children and making them feel better makes us feel awesome. There are even times when I feel like I could use a few extra big hugs, so I read them a scary story just so they will snuggle up to me.  I know. I am a terrible parent.

We all constantly worry about our children non-stop. Is he making friends?  Is he homesick? Does he need me? Should I call the school and just check to make sure he is ok?  I am probably the worst about this.  The first week of pre-k I was a nervous wreck, and the only thing that kept me from deciding to home school the Pizzmeister was the fact that I knew it was incredibly selfish to think like that, and I was ashamed.  

We all have our insecurities.  I always worry that my disease will make life harder for my boys, and I always feel a bit guilty like they are missing out on something because I am sick.  Then, on top of that, I also feel guilty because I wanted my boys so much that I was willing to risk the 50% chance of my disease passing on to them just so I could be a daddy.  

We all compare ourselves to other parents.  Maybe it is just me, but I am always watching other parents with their children and I frequently think to myself, "I would never do that" or  "That so wouldn't fly if I was that kid's dad" or "that mom/dad is wicked cool" or "I wish I had thought of that idea, and I am so stealing it."  

In many ways, being a parent is like being in junior high or high school again to me.  I am constantly watching other parents and smugly laughing at what I think of as "their mistakes" while I am busy screwing up just as bad or worse in the other parent's eyes. Us parents are some of the judgiest people ever! 

We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and we are all going to make some mistakes along the way.  Our different strengths and weaknesses allow us to have different comfort levels in various situations, and it doesn't matter if you are a mother or a father because, at some point, you are going to be blind sided by something, and how you parent versus how other people parent has less to do with gender than it does personal preferences.  

Parenting isn't a man vs woman thing or even a parent vs parent thing.  Parenting is all about doing your best for your children, and, in that respect, we are all the same.