Friday, December 28, 2012

I'm Tired of Santa making me Look Bad!

Well, that blasted man in red has done it again! 

So far, every year he has to go and do something big, much bigger than what I do, for the boys, and I always end up looking bad.
It never fails!

That dirty rotten bastard!

This year I gave the boys perfectly nice under wear, and this is the response I got for my troubles. A total lack of enthusiasm, and even a bit of sorrow.  I tell  you.  I just can't win!

But, what does Santa do? 

Why of course he goes all out and "saves the Day" by giving them a train set that they of course adore because that stinkin' kitty loves it too!

Why just once I would like to give the boys something for Christmas that would result in such a reaction!

I wan't less of this.

And perhaps more of this

But, I would even settle for an in between, like this.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Sometimes Being Sorry Just Isn't Enough

Well, the boy is sick and puking all over the place, so a few tears and some crankiness would be expected and acceptable, but where are they?

Not here.

Quite the opposite.  

The Pizzmeister is still raising hell and making jokes and being generally hilarious.  He even insisted on cleaning up after he puked all over his kitten, Naughty Maudy. 

Then, after everything was all squared away, he managed to get stuck in a clothes hamper.

Yes, that's right.  He got stuck in our clothes hamper.

It was sad, pitiful, and hilarious!

Neither one of us could stop from laughing, and, being the awesome dad that I am, I went and grabbed a camera rather than rescuing him from the hamper saying, "Sorry buddy.  I need to take a picture of this."

His response started another fit of laughter, "Sorry isn't going to get me out!"

He is quite right.  Sometimes being sorry just isn't enough.

P.s  I let him out quickly after this photo was taken.

P.P.s.  Two-zy has proven that he has a rare talent that enables him to sleep through anything.  I don't know how he slept through all the racket we were making.

Friday, December 14, 2012

12/14 Today Sucked

Well, it finally happened.  Both of my boys are sleeping peacefully  and at the same time, but I am too depressed to celebrate.

In fact, I had a hard time just letting the little brats out of my arms.  I only relented when my oldest told me I was squishing him.  So, I let him nap on the couch and not on my lap like I really wanted.  Then the baby started squirming, so I also had to let him nap out of my arms too for fear of waking him.  

After what happened in Connecticut today, I am terrified to let my boys out of my sight.  I just want to hold them and hug them and kiss them and tell them that I love them a thousand times.

I can't even imagine what those poor people are going through.

How does something like this happen?

I'll never understand.

It seems like some sort of human made tragedy comes along about once a month now days.  You can't hardly turn on the news without hearing about something horrible that some asshole has done, and this makes me feel so insecure and unsafe because there is nothing I can do about it.

I can't foresee the future to stop it from happening.  There is nothing I can say or do to make anyone feel better in the aftermath.  About the only thing I can do is latch onto my family, tell them that I love them, and hope that nothing terrible ever happens to anyone I love.

So far, I have lived a lucky life where these tragic events happen elsewhere, and I take it for granted that me and mine are safe because of where we live, small town USA.  

I have always used living a simple life in a small town as some sort of armor against this shit.  I mean, after all, it is only in the cities where violence occurs right?

Well, I'm looking at my armor now and thinking that I am crazy.  The size of the town doesn't matter.  If something terrible is going to happen, it will happen anywhere.  What happened today proved that, and I am sickened by that knowledge. 

But, what can you do?  

I'm not going to go out and buy a gun  or get a license for one because I think there are too many guns in the country already.  I am not going to add to that number.

I'm not going to write my congressman pleading to make gun laws stricter either.  I won't beg him to make handguns illegal, to retract all concealed carry permits, to ban all semi/automatic weapons, or to make it illegal for any fire arm to hold more than 5 rounds of ammunition no matter how much I believe it is time to make all these changes because it will do no good.  My pleas will assuredly fall on deaf ears.

I'm not ok with that, but I can live with it since I have to.

But, here's what I am going to do.  I am going to grab up my little ones and hug them, kiss them, and tell them that I love them a thousands times a day or more.  I am not going to waste my time on un-win-able causes because it is beginning to dawn on me that I don't have time for that.

I have to make sure that my boys and my family know that I love them because, god forbid, if anything should happen to me I want them to know just how much I thought of them and loved them, and should anything happen to them, I want them to know that they were loved dearly.  

My thoughts go out to the people of Newtown, Connecticut.  I know that nothing anyone can say can take this pain away, but please know we are there for you and we are mourning your loss with you.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Mama Bear's Take on the "Breast Milk Baby" Doll

So, I got a ranty note in my e-mail about a breast feeding baby doll from Mama Bear this morning, and guess what.  

I am going to share it with you.  


Because I agree with her totally.  

Well, for that reason and because she explains her point of view splendidly and in such a way that I never could.

All I was going to say is that I found the controversy surrounding this doll disturbing, even more disturbing than the hefty price tag.

But, then again.  I am all hippy-dippy and find nothing wrong with my 2 year old son pretending to breastfeed his baby doll either because I think it is only natural for little tykes to want to emulate their parents.

Anyway, enough of me.  Let's see what Mama Bear's take on the subject is!


Listening to the radio on my way into work today, I heard a conversation which was very disturbing to me as a mother and woman. I don’t think any woman in our country today can fail to recognize that  women and our bodies, our motherhood, are under constant scrutiny ( I could use a lot of other words here, but will leave that for a more appropriate forum), so when the morning show co-hosts , who are generally reasonable and thoughtful people started talking about a new breast-feeding doll I was interested.  

And then almost instantly, saddened, as one of the hosts noted “I don’t have an issue with breast-feeding, but I just find this disturbing.”  

I thought the only thing that should be disturbing about this is the fact that the doll dictates how the child “should” play with it. I much prefer to let the little ones decide their own play rather than restricting their natural imaginative play with toys which “tell”  them what to do.  

Then the hosts opened up the phone lines and I hoped someone would call in with something positive or maybe even pose a question like, “What does it say about our culture, that this is even a topic of debate or conversation?” 

No one talks about dolls that take bottles or baths or cry, so why does a baby doll that eats like so many real babies do warrant a conversation? 

To my dismay, the callers said things like “I have a 5 year old daughter and I don’t think this is appropriate." 

Not “appropriate”?! 

What is there to be appropriate?!

Is it that your child knows she will someday have breasts? That she not be ashamed of her body? That she have a doll that reflects a natural, healthy maternal choice? 

What is so wrong with that?

How can we as culture expect our daughters and sons to ever be equal, if we make girls less-valuable and unclean, just because they have female bodies? 

This is not just about which is better for babies, breast or formula. The conversation about breast-feeding, in public, as a choice, as a requirement of motherhood, and all those things that have become a subject of debate, are just symptoms of how our culture feels with and deals with women and female bodies.  

Who has ever heard someone comment about a baby drinking a bottle in a store or a restaurant? To the same end, does anyone ever say to their son or daughter “that is something we do in private," or "don’t feed your baby like that it. It's for grown-ups only (or girls-only” when we see them “feeding” a doll a bottle? It’s ridiculous right? 

So, why is it so common to say about breast-feeding? 

Let's look into what we are really saying to our children when we say such things. 

We are saying “your (female) body is dirty, shameful, and inherently sexual. You should hide even something as natural and beautiful and normal as feeding and loving your child.  Be ashamed of yourself, of your body. Women deserve to be less than men because of these bodies." 

This sort of thinking is why “female” cancers like breast and uterine cancer still kill so many women.  This kind of thinking is why these  types of cancers are so much less studied and funded than male diseases. 

How is it that so many people refuse to see reality? 

Why do we still insist on treating little girls like they are second class citizens, and when will we finally recognize that we need to change how we think as a society?

Don't we realize that when our daughters suffer from inequality we all suffer too by having wives, daughters, sisters, and mothers that are devalued?

Thanks for sharing Mama Bear even if I am a little jealous that you have always been able to state things so much better than me.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

T'is the Season to Use Santa as a Tool.

T'is the season where we recount stories of crazy hunting accidents, spend money we don't necessarily have, fight each other over the last "hot" new toy in stock, desperately plea with our children to just take a nap or go to bed or even just shut the hell up for five minutes so we can drink our coffee in something that resembles peace and quiet while knowing the entire time that the brattling probably only has about 3 minutes of non-screaming, non-shrieking, non-running around like crazy in him for the day.

After those precious moments are spent, we're screwed!  

The rest of our day will be spent chasing the brat around begging for a few more moments of quiet...or at least quieter.  

Then, like a breathe of fresh air, the little tyke will probably pass out, and for a few minutes there may actually be a little calmness in the house before the baby wakes up screaming for food or attention or just because you dared to put him down for ten minutes while he was asleep. 

And, of course, the cranky baby will without a doubt wake the toddler, and he will be just refreshed enough to raise hell for the rest of the day until it is bed time. this is an everyday type of thing with the kiddos, but there is a major difference now.

Now, we have Santa or Hanukkah Man or whoever fighting for us.

Well, more specifically, we have the threat that whoever brings presents for the brats doesn't bring as many gifts to little boys and girls who throw tantrums or drive their parents crazy in general. 

I know a few parents out there who refuse to take advantage of this godsend, but I, for one, am not above using Santa as a tool to get the boy to behave for a few more minutes everyday.  

It's a beautiful thing!

All I have to do is mention something about Santa and how he rewards little ones who listen to their parents and behave, and it works like a charm.  The Pizzmeister will calm down a little, and my sanity will return briefly.  

If I'm lucky, the boy will be calm enough so we can do some baking or pick up a few toys or something so it doesn't look like the toy box got sick and vomited in the middle of our living room floor.  

If the mention of the big man in red doesn't work I still have an ace in the hole, the internet.

photo from
Mama Bear and I found out about something called Portable North Pole. 

It's a site that sends out personalized Santa videos to your e-mail.  If my brat starts getting out of hand, and I can't reign him in a little a personalized video from Santa will do the trick every time!

It's amazing!

If you don't do the whole Santa thing, then I am sorry.  I got nothing.