Monday, August 19, 2013

Escaping Madness, Finding Madness

Man, I woke up this morning expecting a nice, laid back morning. The boys both looked tired, and I thought for sure they were both going to  pass out on the couch with the puppy, but that has yet to happen.

What I saw as tired, groggy little faces were actually faces of crazy people in disguise.

As soon as Mama Bear left for work they both started laughing at me maniacally, and I knew I was in for it.

Before too long they were both running around screaming and upending things and having a great time while the puppy and I watched groggily from the couch, thinking we were safe and out of the way for the moment.

Well, it's called a moment because it doesn't last long.  We must have looked too comfortable and not terrorized enough because we soon became the targets of mass shenanigans.

I had one boy crawling up on my back and sticking his grubby fingers in my eyes screaming, "OH NO!!  Finger Monsters!"  While the other boy attacked me from the side growling frantically at me while I tried to sip my coffee.

Before too long I had mardi gras beads draped around me, and the poor dog looked like she was going to explode, so I took her out, and naturally she escaped the moment I opened the door.  I guess she couldn't wait.  Either that or she didn't want to stick around the craziness any longer than necessary.

Can't blame her for that. 

Well, whatever the reason, I had to go and get her, so I went out barefoot, bleary eyed, Mardi Gras bead covered, and in my stained up shirt and shorts.  You know, the typical stay at home dad attire, but a bit more formal due to the beads.

Anyway, as I was following the puppy down the side walk calling to her, careful not to hurry because she would just run away, a group of college age brats in a nissan stopped and started yelling at me that they loved  hangovers, like I gave a crap that they got drunk last night.

I tried to half heartedly laugh and wave them off, but the little idiots wouldn't shut up about it.  

So, there I was holding  my puppy while these jerks were talking nonsense about all the hang overs they've had and how funny they were and all the while I was trying to figure out what the hell would be great about having a hangover.  

Then the poop nuggets asked me what I was doing next, and this really caught me off guard.  The only thing I could think to say was, "I'm going to take this dog inside now, and get away from you hooligans."

Apparently, that was hilarious.

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