Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Crap that I am Thankful For!

Well, it is the time of year that many people reflect on every thing they are thankful for.  Alot of these jokers have been posting little things like, "I'm thankful for chocolate" or something every day for a month on Facebook.  


Holy crap that seems insane to me! is somewhat interesting to read some of these status updates because I never see the things I am thankful for pop up on other people's statuses.  Well, besides the generic "I'm thankful for my family" posts that is.

But, that doesn't count.  Everybody writes that.

Anyway, here is a list of what I am thankful for.

Brief List of what Just A Dizzy Dad is Thankful For

1.) These guys:

Of course, I can't formulate a "Things I am thankful for" list with out putting the family on the top of it.  

I may be an asshole, but I am not that big of an asshole!

I may not say it often enough, but these guys are the most important part of my life, and I wake up every morning grumpy, but thankful that I have them.

2.) Coffee:

Oh my Santa Claus, am I thankful for Coffee!

I am not sure how I would be able to handle chasing the brats all day with out it.

It's a staple in my diet.

3.) Microwaves: 

Man, I lived a week or so without a microwave, and, yes, it is do-able, and, no, it wasn't that hard, and, yes, I realize that she said both of those things, but, anyway, I wouldn't want to be without  microwave for long.

It is just a very handy and ingenius invention.  We use it for everything from sterilizing bottles and dish sponges to melting wax to cooking food (it's intended purpose) to making plastic more pliable to be molded into different shapes.

I just love microwaves!

4.) Dish washers:

These are another ingenius invention that save me so much time that they have to make my thankful list.

Not only do they clean my dishes for me, but dishwashers also give me a handy place to store them, so the kitchen looks cleaner when I am too lazy to put them away.

Thank you Mr. Dishwasher for allowing me to work on my lazy skills.

5.) Washing Machine:

This baby is the hotness!

I love not having to leave the house or even get dressed to do the laundry.

I also love that I can leave the clothes in the dryer for days without them laying around the house, cluttering it up, because I hate folding laundry and putting it where it really belongs.

6.) Diaper Pail:

There are no words in any language that I speak to describe how thankful I am for this little guy.

He has seen us through almost four years of rotten diapers, succesfully hiding the stank without fail, unless you count the times I get too lazy to empty the bin and the lid pops up a little bit because I stuff it too full, which results in the smell of fermenting dookie and peepee permeate the house.

7.) Changing Tables and Disposable diapers:

These come as a package deal.

First I love the changing table because it holds all the tools I need to change a stinky baby within arms reach, and I don't have to ever bend down.  

Super sweet deal!

Add on top of that disposable diapers, and it is a definite freaking win!

Mama Bear and I tried doing the cloth diaper thing, and it wasn't all that bad, but we forgot to factor in exactly how lazy I really am. I can't be bothered to pre-soak every poopy diaper, and I hated seperating the diapers from the clothes until we had enough to do a load because it made the house seriously smell like a port-a-potty.

That's insane!

So, thank you disposable diapers for a quick remedy.

8.) Pellet Stoves:

Man, alternative heat sources rock!

It really isn't saving us any money, and it is a lot more work, but my pellet stove when combined with shrink wrapping my windows is hella nice!

Now, instead of our house being 62 degrees all winter and costing us a fortune, we can have it as hot as we can stand for the same price!

If it's going to cost us a metric poop ton of cash to heat our house, we may as well have it at a comfortable temperature.

9.) Reindeer on the Roof: 

What's a reindeer on the roof?

Well, for the boys, it's a personal messenger from them to Santa.  

They can write little letters and the reindeer, dubbed "Boeing" by the Pizzmeister because he can fly, takes the note to Santa, and sometimes even returns with a note from Santa to the boys.

The beautiful part is he can only fly when the boys are both asleep.

The other beautiful thing about this little reindeer is that Mommy and Daddy get to use him too as a snitch.  

Instant success in keeping the brats in line and to sleep when they're supposed to be sleeping.  


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