Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Keep on Truckin' With that Positive Reinforcement

Add caption
Man oh man, is there anything quite as fun as a truck show?

Since Pizzly was feeling better, and was no longer contagious, we decided that he and I were going to go to our first ever truck show together last weekend.

Of course, his favorite vehicle wasn't a truck at all but a front loader and backhoe, but that doesn't matter.  It was still wicked cool.

Oh yeah, he also liked the big red dump truck.  

In fact, he liked it so much he decided to kick off his shoes and make himself comfortable.

It was about this time that I decided we stayed long enough at the truck show and needed to get out of there before daddy started going crazy.

Don't get me wrong!

I was thoroughly enjoying the trucks and telling the Pizzmeister how they worked, what they did, and what all the little levers and switches and pedals did, but I just couldn't stand the other parents and kids that were there.

I tell you, there were some pretty good nominees for worst parent of the year award.

It's not like the other parents were overly disciplining their kids or anything.  It was the opposite!  They weren't disciplining at all, and their kids were atrocious!

It was terrible!

Here's an example of one incident: 

The Pizzmeister was waiting in line to board a school bus when out of nowhere some 5-6 year old decided that he'd had enough of waiting in line and decided to push Pizzly out of the way and then socked another little kid right in the nose so he could get on the bus.

The boy's mother just stood there and watched the whole thing with out saying anything.

I was about to, but if I have learned one thing over the last two and a half years of being a parent it's that when other kids are misbehaving and their parents are letting them, then there really isn't anything you can do about it anyway.


Luckily, a state trooper stepped in at this point, which was awesome!

The trooper nabbed this little bully right off the bus and scolded him and told him that it was never okay to hit anyone and he was no longer allowed on the bus, and he tried to make the bully apologize to Pizzly and the other little one that he hit.  

"Good on him!" I thought

But, that wasn't the end of the ordeal.  Of course, the mean kid's mama had something to say to the trooper about  all of that.

Apparently, she didn't appreciate that he yelled at her kid.  

I can't blame her I wouldn't like it either, but not for the same reason.  I'd be embarrassed that my kid was poorly behaved enough to warrant a police officer yelling at him.

This lady wasn't embarrassed in the least.  

She was mad that somebody had dared to yell at her little darling, to which the trooper responded, "If you had bothered to step in and control your child then I wouldn't have had to ma'am."

As I was giggling and feeling giddy that the lady was getting her come-uppins the situation escalated a hair.  

The mean kid's mama started yelling at the trooper and telling him that he was abusing his authority and that negative/violent reactions to violence only makes the kids prone to be more violent and it is best to ignore such negative behavior totally and only acknowledge the positive behaviors with kind words of encouragement.

This is where the trooper said something along the lines of she could live in a fairy tale wonderland at home where she doesn't have to bother ever correcting her kid, but once they enter the real world it is his job to step in when someone physically assaults somebody and that she may want to change tactics before the kid gets old enough for people to file charges.

After that, Pizzly and I made a quick exit.  Things were getting too real for us!

I am not sure what I was expecting a truck show that was sponsored by a posh daycare center to be like, but I definitely wasn't expecting it to get violent.  A little snooty maybe, but not violent.

Boy am I glad that I stay at home with the rugrats so I don't have to worry about that stuff on a daily basis.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Am I a Deviant?

You know, I try my best to be a helpful partner to Mama Bear.  I am by no means perfect or even all that good at it, but I try.

I mean, I do a large portion of the cooking, I try to pick up after myself, I don't run away from dirty diapers, I do my best, which isn't all that great, to keep the house tidy and orderly, and I know this isn't nearly enough, but I'm trying.

That has to count for something right?

Sure, some days I do better than others, and there are days where I feel pretty proud of myself for being a good daddy and husband.

But...then there are days, like today, where I feel like a deviant.


Because I caught myself fantasizing about my wife grilling!

I won't lie about it, and I am not ashamed of it either. 

I just think it would be super hot if Mama Bear used the grill a few times.

Don't get me wrong.  It's not like watching her grill would be sexy  to me or anything...Well, it might be...Who am I kidding of course it would be.  She's a raging hottie!

But, more importantly, I think it would be awesome if I didn't have to stand outside all by my lonesome while her and the boys are inside playing games or watching movies or something.

I just think it would be wicked cool to be the one inside once or twice because it is kind of a pain walking in and out with the food and utensils and stuff.

It's not like I don't enjoy doing it.  I really do.  I like to cook whether it be inside or out.  I just like having the boys all to myself once in awhile more.  That may change once she goes back to work, but right now I wouldn't mind having them to myself for a bit.

Besides, she might could use a break.

So, I asked her if she wanted to grill, and she said, "I didn't realize I was allowed to."

This instantly made me feel bad.  

Of course she is allowed to use the barbecue!  I am not that freakish...am I?

Then she said, "Well, most guys don't like their wives to cook out because it would be like taking their manliness away."

Well, I am not like most men I guess.  The only thing that I need in order to feel like a man is a mirror.  

The hairiness gives it away!

But, now she's got me thinking.

Am I somehow less of a man because I don't mind if my wife uses the barbecue?

Am I some sort of depraved deviant because I actually want her to use it?

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

So, You Want to See My Baby? Here Are some Rules to Follow.

Well, ever since Two-zy popped out I have been noticing that there a lot of people who aren't necessarily all that thoughtful.

I mean, we go out and about for a nice family shopping trip, and it seems like that opens us up for all sorts of asinine questions by total strangers.

"Is that You're baby?"

"Does this one and that one have the same father?"

"Did you circumcise him?"

"Does the older one know about the younger one yet?"  (note: the lame-o asked this while Pizzly was petting Two-zy and telling him that he loved him very much)

"Does the older one love the younger one?"

I am sure that I am going to hear many more stupid and personal questions as the boys get older.  I just wish that people showed a little more courtesy before they approached the kids.

Maybe it is just me, but it seems like these days no one thinks about anything anymore.  You shouldn't have to make up a list of rules for people to follow before they can see your brats, but apparently you really do.

So, here it goes:

So You Want to See My Baby?

1.) This is a big one, and a no brainer.  Well, at least I thought it was.  Don't bring something for the baby and not for the "Big Boy!"

Seriously, who does that?

It's not only an assholish thing to do, but it seriously undermines the older sibling's need to be reassured that they are still important and just as loved as ever.  They need to feel secure.  This is a helluva big change for them, and they need to know that it is a change for the better.  The quickest way to let them know that that is not the case is to come bearing gifts for the baby and not them.

So, please don't be that dick that leaves the older children out.  If you're bringing presents for the baby please make sure to give something to the others too or just don't bring anything at all.


I can't believe how many people think it is perfectly fine to come visiting a newborn while they are hacking their lungs up or have just finished playing nurse-maid to some other sick person.  

Seriously, if you are sick or have been near another sick person just stay the hell away from my baby.  If we have plans break them.  It's not hard to give us a call to say "Sorry, dude I might be coming down with something," or "I just spent the last few hours hanging out with a sick person, so I probably should cancel for today."

It's just plain old common courtesy to not bring your plague to my baby!  Once they get to be a little older it is a different story, but, until then, back off.

3.) Don't Smoke around my kid, and if you stink like smoke don't come near my kid...or me for that matter.

It really frustrates the hell out of me when people think it is perfectly acceptable to smoke around children because IT'S NOT!  

In fact, it is so not cool that there are even little warning labels on the boxes telling you it's not okay to smoke around kiddos or while preggers or at all.

I don't care if you want to poison your own lungs and give yourself cancer, but I sure as hell care if you do the same to my kid. And, don't go blatting to me about your rights being violated by smoking being banned in public areas because I don't care.  Smoking has been proven to be harmful to more than just the smoker, and you have no right to endanger anyone else because you want to do it.

Yes, smoking is harmful to you and to others around you, and you know it.  When smoking stops being harmful to anyone then we can talk about your rights.

Until then, do everyone a big favor and leave your cigarettes at home when you know you'll be somewhere where there are going to be kids i.e. a kids birthday party or the park!

Please, don't be the ass that smokes around other people's kids!

4.) Keep your opinions about what we do with our kids to yourself.

I am sure you value your opinion highly, but I don't.  I don't care what you think about our name choice.  I don't care what you think about circumcision or breast feeding or potty training or co-sleeping or anything really.

Mama Bear and I will do what we feel is best, and the bottom line is unless you are the parent, your opinion doesn't matter, and that goes for grandparents too.  I'm sorry it's not your call.  Mama Bear and I call the shots. 

Sorry, that is just how it goes, so unless you don't mind being asked to leave or ignored just keep your opinions to yourself.  New parents need support not to be judged or harassed.

5.)  Feel free to leave sooner rather than later.

I know it is hard for some people to leave a house where there is a newborn, but please do.  You don't really want to be that obnoxious guy who never leaves do you?

Of course not, so feel free to take off soon after you show up because chances our the people with the newborn will appreciate not having to entertain you while they are working on 3-5 hours of sleep.

It's not that we don't like you.  We just like you better from afar right now.

6.) Call before you show up (this includes hospital visits)

I absolutely hate it when people just show up because chances are we are either in the middle of doing something or napping, or trying to get the kids down to nap or eat when some asshole decides to pop in for a visit.

A little prep time is always nice to have.  It is just good manners in my book.

And remember, when a newborn is involved the parents might not be up for entertaining guests and would be seriously pissed if you just popped in to say hi.  This applies even when they are at the hospital because chances are Mama is her tiredest and Daddy is a little more tired than usual too and neither are in the mood to have a continual stream of visitors, especially visitors that just pop in or ones that we know are coming but they refuse to leave. 

Please please please please please remember that Mama is tired and needs her rest.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Hand, Foot, and Mouth...Oh My!!!

Oh man, is there anything worse than a sick toddler?

Well, maybe a sick little baby, but, luckily, our littlest munchkin didn't catch the plague from his older brother. At least not yet.

No, Pizzly doesn't really have the plague. He has something called Coxsackie virus.  I guess it is more commonly known as 'Hand, foot, and Mouth' disease.

Anyway, it sounds worse than it really is, unless of course a child under two months old gets it.  Then it is down right terrifying because fevers and newborns don't mix all that well, and some seriously bad things can come of it.

Bur, like I said, we don't have to worry about that for the moment.

Basically, this Hand, foot, and mouth disease thing  starts out as a fever and eventually works its way into being a sore throat with blister like things on the hands, feet, and especially in the poor kids mouth.  

All this can understandably make a young one cranky.  It hurts when they drink, it hurts when they eat, and sometimes it hurts them enough so they just won't do either. Then you have problems.

Poor little Pizzmeister!  So far he has handled it like a little trooper, and is still eating and drinking, just not as much as he should.  Other than that, since his fever broke, he has been in relatively high spirits.

He's a tough little mighty mite!

And please, remember that it is never a good idea to visit a newborn when you have been around sick people or are sick yourself!!!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Happy 10,000

Holy crap!  It's been a busy week.

In fact, it's been so busy I forgot that I had a blog...almost.

Let's see...

I found out that I forgot to celebrate a major milestone that happened about a month ago.  

10,000 page views so far for the year.

Kind of wicked cool right?

I won't lie.  I am a little sorry I missed that, but the last month or so has been a little hectic around here.

I guess getting psyched up for a new baby, prepping for it, and dealing with the little rug-rat once it arrives kind of takes your mind off of all the other crap in life.

Who knew?

Anyway, just want to thank all of you awesome people for reading the crap I write and making me feel all loved and cool and popular and stuff!

Here's a few fun facts:

1.) People from 36 different countries view this blog on a fairly regular basis.

2.) On any given day more people from India will look at this blog than people from the USA, where I live.

3.) Mama Bear's post on DIY baby wipes, "Really Easy DIY Baby Wipes" is now this blogs most popular post.

4.)  More people have found this searching with the key words "nudies" and "sex problems" than the rest of the other search words that brought up my blog combined.

5.) Face Book is the top referring site, but And They Came Two by Two is a close second. 

Thank you all again for sticking around and reading about all the shenanigans we do here at J.D.a.D. and being part of the family.

P.s. There's only 10 days left to get in on the "Lunchbox Love" give away.  Make sure to toss your name into the electronic "hat" before it's too late!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Let's Call a Truce

I am not just sure if it is just me or what, but I swear that people are getting more and more judgmental and intolerant lately.  

Well, maybe the trend isn't as recent as I am thinking it is, but that is not the point.

The point is there is no reason to be hurtful just for the sake of being hurtful, and, no, your religion does not give you carte blanche to judge or attack other people just because they are different than you.

Perhaps if we spent a little less time looking for differences we'd be able to see the similarities.

Okay, so what am I on about?

Well, I've gotten yet another hate e-mail, which isn't any big deal usually, but lately my hate mails are all based on the same thing, my wicked cool new banner.  

I guess I chose to use multiple colors in it and that apparently is offensive to a very vocal few.

Well, to them I say "What is wrong with you?!"

Yes, I chose to use multiple colors for my lettering.  Yes, I know that rainbows and rainbow colored things have symbolic meanings.  That is one of the reasons I chose to use multiple colors as I am fully supportive of other people being allowed to live their lives as they see fit.  

As long as they aren't hurting anybody who cares?    

I firmly believe that it is time for us as people to move on from our petty differences with each other.  

So, there are people out there that live different lives and have different beliefs than you.  

Big deal!

If you leave them alone, I am sure they will leave you alone too, so let's call a truce!

Life is too short to spend it in a protective shell of ignorance, so
step out for awhile and witness all the amazing crap you missed. 

Don't worry your little protective shell will still be there if you want to go back to it.  

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

If it Feels Like a Job, You're Doing it all Wrong!

For the last week or so I have been doing some contemplating, and I have discovered that I have been royally screwing up a lot lately. 

I've caught myself taking this blogging thing entirely too seriously.

I mean I am spending so much time thinking about what I can blog about that I forget to actually have a life, a real one, where there isn't a computer within sight 100% of the time.  It's ridiculous!

I'm ridiculous!

If I am not fiddling around with the blog then I am on Facebook or checking my e-mail or contemplating what I can tell you all about.  Then I realize that I actually have to do stuff in order to have anything to write about.


When did this blogging thing start becoming a job?

It hasn't.  It just feels like it.

So, I have a new motto, which those of you that follow me on Facebook already know.  That new motto is "If it feels like a job, you're doing it all wrong!"

No, it isn't exactly replacing my old motto, which is "Nut up or Shut Up!"  I am still keeping that one around.  I'm just adding this new one as a reminder to myself of what's really important and that being a parent isn't a job despite the claims of many that it's "the hardest job you'll ever love." 

Parenting is just part of life...for me anyway, and life isn't a job is it?

I guess it could be to some people, but not to me.

Blogging is also not a job to me.  

I started out just looking for something to do while the kid slept, and I wanted to do something that kept my brain active since Sudoku just wasn't cutting it anymore.

So, I started writing some stuff down, and eventually this blog came about.  I remember telling myself at the beginning that the moment it stops being entertaining to me I'll stop because, hey, it's not like I am making any money from it.

Well, somewhere along the way I forgot about that vow because I haven't stopped, and I don't intend to...not yet anyway.

But, I do need to make a change because I am missing out on something pretty damn great!

What's missing in this photo?


My beautiful family is out and about having all sorts of fun, and where am I?  

Behind a freakin' camera thinking about how to incorporate this photo into my blog.  Not cool!

Instead of sharing the moment with them I am a spectator, watching it happen.

Well, one of my parents, I don't recall which one at the moment, once told me that life wasn't a spectator sport, and I am just figuring out what the hell that means now, 15-20 years later.

Man, I am a dope!

I owe my family one helluvan apology! 

Something's gotta change.  I can't afford to miss out on any more moments like these anymore.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Lunch Box What? Hey, Let's do a Give Away!

I saw on the morning news a while ago; something called Lunch Box Love, and I immediately thought that it sounded totally awesome.

Here let me tell you a little about it.

Lunch box love is basically exactly what it sounds like.  

They're little notes that you leave in someone's lunch box, briefcase, car, shoe, or anywhere so that they can find it during the day and know that you are thinking about them.  

I know, it is a terrific idea isn't it?!

And, what is even cooler about these notes is that they each have a  little factoid on the back of them, so you can learn something and feel loved all at the same time!

When I visited their website I was amazed at the variety they had. They had some Love that was appropriate for just about any occasion.

I received a set called "Lunch Box Love for Loved Ones," and I was so impressed by it, and I liked them so much, that I was inspired to write a song!

Be sure to visit these guys at sayplease.com and on their Facebook Page to show them some love.  

They so deserve it!

And, Since the people over at sayplease.com are so wicked awesome, they've agreed to to sponsor a give away raffle!!!

How cool is that?!

Click HERE to see what they're giving away!

See below to find out how you can get in on this.  Keep in mind that this give away only applies to contestants that reside within the Continental United States of America.

The contest starts now, today, July 9, 2012 and ends July 31, 2012.

Good Luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Babies Make me Cry...With Pride! Welcome Two-zy!

Oh man it has been a tiring last few days, especially for poor Mama Bear, but that's okay we got a NEW BABY OUT OF THE DEAL!!!

Pizzly wants to officially introduce you to Two-zy.  He's such a proud big brother.

And, believe it or no the Pizzmeister is wicked helpful too.  He's our little "go to" guy.

Just say the word and it's done!

Anyway, after we brought Two-zy home and after the Pizzmeister begged to hold him, I couldn't help but to start getting emotional all over again.

I say again because while poor Mama Bear shat Two-zy from her womb I cried...a lot.  

I just felt so bad for her!  I can't stand the thought of her hurting.

Then the most amazing thing happened.  

I swear that as Two-zy was coming out he opened his eyes, which happened to be pointed in my direction, and then the little booger winked!  

Now, that may be an ominous sign of things to come, but that didn't matter because I was thrilled to see his cute little face.

Then he was out and crying.

I would like to think that I was all calm and composed and everything, but I wasn't.  I was sniffling and snorting and laughing and crying all at the same time.  I was overwhelmed with emotion, just like when the Pizzmeister came out. 

And, here I thought that the second time around wouldn't be as special as the first.

Boy, was I wrong!

Now, as I sit watching my two boys look at each other I can't help but start tearing up again because I am so proud, so happy, and I have such a beautiful family.

The only thing that I am disappointed about is that I am still the ugliest one in the family!  It would have been nice to not have that distinction for at least a few days.

P.s. Here are some more photos for you to look at.