Friday, June 29, 2012

Alright Dobber! Get Your Baby Buns Out Already!

Ok so no baby yet.

Bummer.

I don't understand.  We have tried everything. I even made some proven to be labor inducing lasagna.  

Ok, so it might not be proven, but it was pretty damn good lasagna.

With my luck Mama Bear will start going into labor on either Sunday or Tuesday, the only two days that I have prior commitments. 

So much for all the "natural" methods of labor induction.  I guess that goes to show you that these babies have their own schedules, and will arrive when they damn well feel like it.

Until, then I guess the only thing that we can do is sit back and relax while we can.  I would go over the birth plan that Mama Bear wrote up again, but what's the use?  She already gave it to the midwife, and if Two-zy is anything like the Pizzmeister nothing will go as "planned" anyway.

Well, I guess it kind of did in that the boy wanted to come, so out he came.  I am actually surprised that the plan doesn't just consist of "Get this baby out of me!!!"

That seems sufficient doesn't it?

As long as the baby comes out happy and healthy what else could you ask for?




Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Wanting my Baby Boy Back/Kids are Jerks!

There are some days where I feel like the crappiest dad ever, and yesterday was one of those days.

No, I didn't sit around and ignore the boy all day or yell at him or hurt him or anything like that. 

What, I did was just as bad though. I took pleasure in the fact that the boy was having scary dreams, and, therefore, needed me to comfort him. 

I'm kind of hoping that he has more of these dreams just so I can have more snuggles.

I know, I am terrible, and I feel awful for thinking it too.

But, yesterday's nap time was so nice! 

He woke up terrified of something and crawled onto my chest and fell asleep there as I comforted him with my crappy singing. For a moment, I thought he was just a little baby again, then it hit me that he wasn't. He's 2 already and really starting to become a "big" boy.

I feel like I have squandered my time with him. What happened to my itty bitty baby?

He's growing, and I am obviously having a hard time with that because as the boy slept on my chest like he used to when he was just a few months old, I got all weepy and overcome with nostalgia. 

I just never wanted let go of the little brat. I wanted to stay just like that forever, all snuggley and happy.

**Sigh**

Then the little monster woke up and ruined the moment I was having with his crankiness!

I must have been squeezing him too hard or my man tears were too wet or something because as soon as his eyes opened he no longer wanted anything to do with me. 

He tossed me aside like wrapping paper on Christmas morning. Then he was up and wreaking havoc like the tiny toddler tornado he is, and all I can do now is take it all in as much as possible because soon he'll be bigger and will want daddy even less.

Kids are jerks!

Monday, June 25, 2012

Keeping it Cool and Getting Ready!

Why, yes, that is a beer being kept cool in a bottle cozy.

Why do I have a beer in a bottle cozy?

Because I don't want my beer to get warm.

I deserve to have a cold beer every now and again don't I?

Sure I do, but not because I have done anything specifically to earn it. I just like to keep my beer cold while I drink it. 

There is no crime in that.

Yes, I could drop a 16 ounce beer mug or two in the freezer, but that just seems a bit too pretentious for the likes of me. If I am going to pour beer into a glass it is going to be either poured from a tap or the beer is going to be poured into my monster mug that holds 32 ounces of whichever liquid you want to drink lots of. 

I find it is awesome for Lemonade.

Anyway, the Pizzmeister doesn't mind sharing a few of his old bottle cozies with me, and it amuses me greatly to use them for an unintended purpose.

Plus, it just looks ridiculous!

Oh, and in case you didn't know, Mama Bear is all preggers and stuff, so we have been busy little beavers getting ready for a second little rugrat to make it's appearance.  

We are both totally excited.  I am not so sure about the boy though.  He doesn't seem to care all that much yet, but I bet he will be as ecstatic as we are when two-zy comes home.  

I just can't wait!

It should be coming up pretty soon.

Mama Bear was having all sorts of contractions this weekend, and  not the crappy Braxton Hicks kind either.  It was the real deal, and I was getting hopeful that Two was going to come out and play, but no such luck. 

Soon though.

When he does decide to come out and play, I think we are pretty much ready for him.  Mama Bear and I spent the weekend bickering over things like putting the car seat in and rearranging the furniture to make room for the little squirt and doing whatever else we thought needed doing.

But, despite the bickering we have everything pretty much under control and ready to go.

Now, all there is to do is wait and sleep while we can if the Pizzmeister will let us.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Nasty Nasty Sun Block

Holy sweetness and cherry pie!  It's summer time and I am just realizing that right now!

Where have I been?

It seems like just the other day the boy and I were sledding, and now we are out and about picking peas and working in Grammy's garden, hauling water and mussing things up in general.  It's great!

The only thing about summertime that we aren't liking thus far is the applying of the dreaded sunblock. I hates it because I am so wicked furry!  Do you know how frustrating it is to apply SPF 60+ sunblock on fur?

It's terrible!

It's like trying to apply it on your scalp through all of your hair.  It just ain't happening unless you are balding.

Unfortunately, I am not balding.  In fact, I believe I am doing the opposite.  I have hair growing out of places that I didn't believe hair could grow before I had seen it for myself.  

There is hair growing from my eye lids!

It sucks!

I swear that I get a worse burn from trying to rub in the sunblock than I would if I just went without sunblock altogether, but I can't do that because I have had to have pieces of skin cut out of me that were supposedly "pre-cancerous" before.  

Since then, I don't take any chances.  The boy and his brother will need me for something eventually, and I want to be there and be healthy-ish when they do.

So, I will stick too lathering myself up with spf 60+ before I head out.  My only consolation is that the boy gets the same treatment.

Oh yeah, speaking of sun protection, did you know that when it is really hot and sunny out it is usually better to wear clothing that covers more of your body.  

Try it it works.  

I am not talking about wearing sweat shirts and jeans, but light colored, thin fabric long sleeve shirts and light weight pants.  

The fabric stops the damaging rays of the sun from directly touching your skin, and that keeps you cooler.

So, next time you guys are tempted to whip of your shirt to cool off on a sunny day try tossing on a long sleeved shirt instead.  It might surprise you.

Monday, June 18, 2012

9 Months Pregnant and in The Woods

This photo is a few weeks old.  Two-zy
has grown, but Mama bear is just as
Pretty still.
Holy Smacktastic!  Have we been busy wreaking havoc around here or what?

Well, not really.  

We have been doing our best to prep for Two-zy since on Tuesday Mama Bear will technically be full term.  Then all of her little contraction thingies won't scare me as much.

Gotta make sure that baby is fully baked before we yank him out of the oven you know?

Anyway, we've been doing our best to get things ready.  Well, really she has.  I have been slacking.  All I have really done is install an extra a/c unit and get rid of some books and stuff like that in an effort to make some room for the little bratling.

Oh yeah, I have also have begged the help of the Grand Parents for some ideas on how to make the new baby's arrival a special moment for the Pizzmeister too.

My mom and dad pulled through for me big time by finding an awesome R/C helicopter for him that the baby can bring home with him to give to Pizzly.  This little chopper has all sorts of bells and whistles and the boy can even fly it outside, which rocks.

This is a photo of a trail marker where we like to walk
with the boy
Other than that, we have pretty much been doing exactly what we have always been doing, going outside and getting dirty.

Both Mama Bear and I are fairly outdoorsy.  I mean she grew up in a house surrounded by woods, and I always kind of escaped to the outdoors to get away from people.

So, we frequently go out hiking, and it is kind of fun to see the reactions of other hikers when they see Mama Bear at 9 months pregnant walking along in the woods with the Pizzmeister either on her shoulders or running around like a maniac.

It's pretty cute!

Mama Bear holding a Liochlorophis vernalis
(Smooth green snake)
Anyway, yesterday we were out in the woods and happened to snag some critters to show the boy.

Boy, did he love this beautiful little snake.

It's a smooth green snake!  

These little buggers are insect eaters and were once really common, but, unfortunately, since there are so many pesticides out there they are not as common as they once were.  We were fortunate to find this little girl.

No sooner had we let this cutey go then we found another cute little critter.

Northern leopard frog striking a pose
This is a Northern Leopard Frog, and it was considerably harder to catch than the smooth green snake.

I ended up using my hat.

At first we were amazed to find this usually aquatic creature in a meadow, but after we identified it we weren't so surprised.  These frogs are also called grass frogs because of their propensity to visit meadows and woodlands near permanent bodies of water.

The Pizzmeister, Mama Bear and I were super excited to see him and the smooth green snake.  It gave us an opportunity to teach the  boy a little about wildlife, and to show off Mama Bears small critter wrangling skills.

Here's a few more photos of the Smooth Green Snake:


P.s.  I assure that these little critters were not harmed in any way, and were release in the exact location where we found them.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Moving Forward, Yet Falling Back...

Unfortunately, intolerance is alive and well in this country.  One might even say that it is thriving, and that is kind of scary.

I mean, come on!

What happened to forward progression?!

It seems like every step we take forwards we end up taking 2 maybe three in the opposite direction.  How do you explain that?  As a parent, how do you ensure that your kids don't start walking backwards in time too? 

I mean, there is only so much you can do.  

I can start them off in the right direction, teach them to be strong, and hope that it sticks, but what happens if that isn't enough?

What if I screw up?

What happens if that magical thing called peer pressure turns my boys into women hating, racist, intolerant of anything non-"christian," hate mongers? (and we're not even christians!)

I'd feel like such a failure!

In reality, I am not too worried about this happening because I honestly think that kids learn hate and intolerance from home not from their friends, not the life long hatred and intolerance anyway. That's the kind of ignorance you have to really work at to maintain.

Unfortunately, there are some hard workers out there.  It's rather sad really.  Imagine if they put all that energy into something useful...

Anyway, I guess as a daddy the only thing I can do is try my hardest to teach my sons to accept people for who they are.  Try to get them to focus on what's the same instead of the differences.


What do you think?  How do you teach tolerance and acceptance to your kids?

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Value of Mom Vs Dad!!

I recently had the misfortune of reading a tidbit from some insurance website stating that daddies are supposedly worth only a third of what mommies are worth.

How do they come to this conclusion?

Well, they divide every day life into a series of Mom jobs versus Dad Jobs because apparently Moms don't do things like plumbing or move furniture or perform regular maintenance on the vehicle/s.  And, I guess that it is equally unheard of that Dads do things like take care of their kids, nurse wounds, or even be aware of what the kiddies are up to at any given time.

This whole thing leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

It wouldn't be so bad if the article wasn't so blatantly sexist and repulsive.  I mean, come on! When are articles like these going to stop selling all of us parent types short?

The 1950's called and wants their ideas of gender roles back!

In case you haven't heard, Moms and Dads are both parents now and they are both workers too, and, this will totally blow your mind, some dads even stay at home with the bratlings.

Moms can do anything dads can and vice-versa, and to try and place a monetary value on either is slightly absurd.  But, what can I expect from an article that is trying to sell life insurance?

Well, I guess I could expect them to keep up with the times and not print stuff like this:

"Jamie O'Boyle, senior analyst for the Center for Cultural Studies & Analysis in Philadelphia, says fathers aren't nearly as important to families as mothers. In recognition of this, men typically concede most major family decisions to their wives.
'The woman decides where you are going to live, where your kids are going to go to school,' says O'Boyle. 'Women are the ones who are there to make that family unit work. Men are essentially fungible, meaning you can always get another one." (http://www.insure.com/articles/lifeinsurance/the-mothers-day-index.html)

As a husband and a father that really stings a bit.





P.s. To read the articles you can go here for the one discussing the value of moms at the home front and here to see the value of dads at the home front.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Wednesday's Weigh in!

Oh my oh my!  I just realized that I haven't done a weigh-in in forever.  

Yes, I have been lazy, but I am still doing a little bit to get into shape.  I mean, I am still exercising just not as much, maybe a half hour 3 times a week instead of everyday.

So, now I am down to 280, which is still heavy, but not as much as 304.  That's nice.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Really Easy DIY Baby Wipes

Well, Mama Bear pulled through for us.  She agreed to share her recipe of her ultra cool, home made baby wipes!

I hope you all appreciate the pains I had to go through in order to convince her to write this for us.  



Really Easy DIY Baby Wipes

You’ll need:

Baby Oil
Baby Wash
1 Roll Paper Towels *
Warm Water
Storage Container that is airtight ( I use gallon zip-lock bags)
Scissors

* I like the selectable size type in a mid-range brand (Brawny or whatever). You can use whatever you like, but I don’t recommend the really cheap kinds. I tried them and they just fall apart once they are wet.


Steps:

1) Pull the paper towels into sheets. I use the smallest “selectable” size. I also cut each towel in half (you can of course do a stack at once).









2) in a large container ( I use a big mixing bowl) mix 2 cups hot water with two teaspoons of  baby oil and 2 teaspoons of baby wash.  Brand does not matter, but I like the Johnson’s sleepytime stuff with lavender because it smells nice. Before Pizzle arrived I made this with unscented, dye-free baby wash to eliminate any chance for something to bother his skin.  



3) Place about ¼ of the cut paper towels into the solution, once saturated add ¼ more. Flip over and press towels (or better yet let you toddler do it) for complete saturation.*  Your wipes are now complete. Transfer to your storage container. Repeat with second half of paper towels.








* I like my wipes to be pretty moist, they work great for sticky newborn poopies and those “It’s EVERYWHERE” toddler poops. Feel free to adjust the liquid to paper towel ratio to your preference. My original recipe called for 2 cups water for the entire roll of towels, but I found that too dry.


Monday, June 11, 2012

Cream My Root Beer (A.K.A Fart Soda)!!!!

It looks all Mirky and 
Well, we have tried to make our very own soda, and it turned out to be easier than I thought it would be.  It was also much quicker, and the boy loves it so I thought I would share the recipe with you.


The only thing that I will warn you about is that it smells all sulfur-y like a baby fart, but, other than that it tastes pretty good.  

Not too sweet not too bitter.  I was going for a root beer float type of flavor and it kind of worked out for me.

So, if you want the recipe, here it is. 

Cream My Root Beer (A.K.A Fart Soda)

Here's what you'll need:

1 cup of sugar
1 tablespoon of root beer extract
2 tablespoons of vanilla extract
1/8 - 1/4 teaspoon of active dry yeast
1 funnel
1two liter plastic bottle with a screw on cap (i.e. used soda bottle)
2 liters of water (bottled, tap, distilled, or whatever as long as it is clean)
Some bleach

Prep time = about 35 minutes where you only actually do stuff for five of those minutes

Step 1: Clean the Bottle!

Since brewing root beer takes a few days it is important to sanitize the used plastic soda bottle.  This may sound intimidating, but it is really easy.  Fill the bottle half way with water, dump in about a 1/4 cup of bleach, and then fill the bottle the rest of the way with bleach.  Put the cap on, swish it around a little, and then let it set for a half hour.

Then simply dump out the bleach water and rinse the bottle out thoroughly.

Step 2: Add the Sugar, yeast, and the extracts

Using the funnel pour the sugar into the plastic bottle and then the yeast.  Swirl it around a little and then add the extracts.

Try to mix the extract into the sugar and yeast as best you can

Step 3:  Add water

Now fill the bottle up to within an inch/inch and a half of the top  then cap it tightly.

Lastly, turn the bottle upside down and right side up multiple times to mix all the sugar and what not with the water.

Step 4: Let it sit

Now, let it brew, which means setting it aside until the bottle get's hard.  That's when you know it is carbonated.  This took me 2 days, but I imagine that it could take as long as a week or as little as overnight depending on the temperature.

Once the bottle is hard put it in the fridge and let it chill over night, and drink it.

(Keep in mind that if you don't put the root beer in the fridge once the bottle gets hard it may explode as the yeast will continue to react to the sugar, which creates natural carbonation)

P.s. If the soda smells like a fart don't be alarmed.  Mine smelled like somebody ripped ass in my glass, but the root beer still tasted pretty good.  

P.P.s.  I wasn't lying when I said it smelled like a fart.

P.P.P.s.  The yeast and sugar = fermentation, which = alcohol content, but the amount of alcohol is negligible, less than the amount of alcohol in a non-alcoholic beer.

Preparing Myself for Frustration.

Ok, so I came to a massive realization this morning...TWO-ZY IS DUE TO ARRIVE IN LESS THAN A MONTH!!!

This is getting exciting!

There is going to be a flopsy newborn hanging around JDD Head Quarters with all sorts of new stuff for me to figure out.  This calls for some preparation and celebration!

Luckily, we've already seen this show before so we know what to expect somewhat.  I am fairly certain I can handle all the logistics of having a newborn around 24-7, but there is one thing I am not sure about.

How am I going to handle all the idiotic questions that so many people have?

Since Pizzly's birth I have learned many things, and one of the most important things that I have learned is that many people are just insane and say wildly inappropriate things that border on idiocy when they are around newborns.  

My theory is they do it just so they can get a closer look, and they feel awkward about politely asking to see the rugrat for some reason.

Why is that?

Why do people find it perfectly acceptable to be so dreadfully annoying about babies when they want to look at the cute little buggers, but find it so shameful to just come out and ask if they can have a look?

And why are these people so much worse when the baby is out and about than when the baby is still chillin' out in the uterus?  

I mean, yes it is lame and vaguely stupid for you to ask a pregnant lady or couple, "So, have you figured out how that happens yet?" but when you compare that statement to "Gee dad!  I don't know! He sure doesn't look like you.  Are you sure he's yours?" I give the lamely asinine award to the latter.

Yes, I know that both of these statement are supposed to be humorous, but they're not funny, clever, cute, or in anyway something that needs to be said.  Statements like this are just plainly annoying and inappropriate. 

If you feel like you need to say something why not say...oh...CONGRATULATIONS! for christ's sake!

Oh, and by the way, yes I have heard both of the above comments numerous times, but only one or two "congrats mom and dad" and those were from family members.  

The whole "Do you Know how that happens?" comment seems to be a favorite of middle aged and elderly people for some reason, and the questioning of who the father is comments are just uncouth, which is why I really only heard it from trashy womanizers or misogynists in general.  Either way it doesn't matter who said it because those comments are always way out of line.

Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that I learned when the Pizzmeister still had that new human smell on him that people are just obnoxious around newborns, and when you go out with a little baby you can always count on hearing at least one person say  something stupid like "Where does he get his hair color from?" or "What lovely curls he has where does he get them from?" or my personal favorite "Oh what a cutie!  Is he yours?"

Yeah, the best way to get a daddy to show off his kid to you is to start off by questioning whether or not he is in fact the biological father, and that is pretty much what all these questions sound like to me.

And, I am never sure as to how I am to respond.  

Am I supposed to be offended, grateful for the attention, humored, or what?

Maybe these people just really want to know how genetics work.  In that case, they should "Google" it and leave me alone. 

Luckily, I know now to prepare for the stupid questions, and hopefully it won't be so painfully irritating this time around.

I just wish I had known to prepare for this when Pizzly was new.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Things I Think but Don't Necessarily Say

Since I ranted a little bit yesterday about an article that claimed that the author new what men thought but would never say, I thought that today I would tell you all about things that I think but don't necessarily say.

Yes, I do know that Mama Bear will read this and that may mean bad things for me, but I am going to attempt to keep it real for a moment or two.

Remember this is just me...I don't even pretend to know what other guys are thinking.


What I Think but Don't Necessarily Say

5.) Tattoos are Wicked cool especially on women:

Maybe it stems from my childhood or something, but I have always found that kind of body art fascinating, and I have always had a soft spot in my heart for women who sport a little ink.

Not sure why though.

Don't get me wrong here. I think my non-tattooed wife is the hottest woman on the planet, and I love her to death and wouldn't want her to change for anything. 

I just think that tats are cool, and I think that it's wicked cool when women have them. (Note: That this doesn't apply to the ubiquitous lower mid back tattoos that many women have. Those are cool too, but no where near as cool as an arm tat or a leg tat or something.)

What can I say? 

I am a sucker for rebels, and that is what tattoos symbolize to me.

Rebellion. A big "F-U" to the man!

I love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it!!!

4.) My wife is the Hottest and smartest woman on the planet: 

Yeah, I am one of those crappy husbands that doesn't tell his wife how much she means to me and takes her for granted. 

But, I honestly do think that Mama Bear is wicked smart and beautiful, and I am so proud to be married to her. Yet, I hardly ever tell her so.

In, fact I may never have told her so...That has to change.

I have to change...

What am I doing telling you this and not her?

3.) I really do Care if my son is gay or not, but not for the reasons you think:

Don't hate me too quickly for this, but it's true if only for the fact that our society is so un-accepting of homosexuals and so hateful and hurtful towards them.

In my house, my sons will always be loved for who they are and accepted and valued. They are precious to Mama Bear and I, and they always will be no matter what.

But, what about out there in the rest of the world?

I'd love to always be there to protect them and to help them get back onto their little feet, but I can't.

Eventually, they are going to get hurt when I am not there to help.

Eventually, they are going to get hurt, and I will not be able to kiss their pain away no matter how hard I try.

This terrifies me!

And, it sickens me that in this day and age there are people out there that are so willing to dole out pain to others because of their ignorant prejudices.

I want my boys to be accepted and loved for who they are, not hated. I want them to live without fear of persecution because of their sexual preference, imagined race, ethnicity, gender, sex, etc…

Until my sons can live in a world that will respect and love them and whoever they chose to love as we do at home, I do care.

2.) I am a HUGE fan of "Glee":

For some reason, it is terribly hard to admit that I like that show so much. Maybe it's because it doesn't exactly fit with the whole bogus idea of masculinity I grew up with. 

Who knows?

But, the plain and simple truth is I really like "Glee," and I really wish that it would have came out when I was a teeny bopper. It's about time that something came along that made song and dance popular.

1.) There are time when I feel guilty, terrified, selfish, and just bad in general for wanting to be a daddy so much:

I know this sounds weird but hang with me for moment.

As many of you may know, I have a rare genetic disease that I have been fighting with for years, 22 to be exact. It's one of those pesky Episodic Ataxias.

It's pretty well managed now, but I'll never be cured of it, and I will very likely never get any better or feel any better than I do right now, and that's okay...for me.

I am perfectly alright with having to use a cane for the rest of my life. I am fine with the knowledge that I will always have these pesky muscle twitches, spasms, and cramps. It doesn't really bother me anymore that I can't really feel things as well as I should in my left leg and arm. It's alright with me that I have to concentrate on all of my limbs all of the time, especially when I walk. I don't care anymore that I always feel like crap physically.

Yes, this is all ok because it could be so much worse, and I know that. 

Adjust, adapt, and overcome. That's all you can do.

So, why do I feel so terrible about being a daddy?

Because I am very likely going to pass along this gem of a disease to one of my children, and I knew that before we had them!

What's okay for me is not okay for my kids. I don't want them to have to deal with the humiliation, ridicule, limitations, and pain, mostly emotional, that I had to while growing up.

It sucked!

And, Mama Bear and I had to really think about whether or not we were willing to risk passing my disease along on to one of our kids.

In the end, I wanted my boys too much. 

I wanted to be a daddy too much to not be one.

After all, my disease isn't lethal. It isn't that bad. I mean I'm living with it aren't I?

But, that doesn't mean I won't feel like the biggest jerk in the world on the day I learn that one of my precious boys is sick just like me.

All I can do now, really, is hope that day never comes.




Well, there you have it. Some of the things I think but rarely ever say.


Monday, June 4, 2012

Sex Problems? Things I Want to Say but don't? Rubbish!!!

Lately, it seems that there is an influx of sex and relationship advice flooding the various internet "news" sources I frequent.

No.   This doesn't bother me.  I am not that prudish, but I find it odd that basically none of it applies to me or to Mama Bear and I as a couple.  

That makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me/us.

I mean just this morning I read two or three things about why I am not having any good sex lately, and not anywhere in the article does it say, "Face it.  You have a toddler/kids.  These little people make older people tired, which puts things like sex on the low priority list; way below things like coffee and nap time."  

The article also never said that kiddies have some sort of telepathy where they can tell when mommy and daddy are about to do something fun, so they will wake up like their ass is on fire just to be little jerks.

Does the article keep it real and throw things like that in?

Nope!

According to the article, one of us is feeling too much pressure to perform or we're watching too much t.v. or we're bored or depressed or something like that, and that is what is supposedly stopping Mama Bear and I from fornicating like a couple of teenage rabbits.   

I call Shenanigans to that! 

Our sex life is suffering for none of those reasons!  

It's suffering because Mama Bear is all preggers, which I have heard makes one quite tired, and because, like I have already stated, we have a psychic toddler who knows when we are even just thinking about having some fun "grown-up" time, which, of course, means he'll wake up, cling to Mama Bear, and stare me down as if to say, "Not this time buddy!"

Well, after I read that crappy sex article I stupidly clicked on another one, wrongly thinking that this new article would magically not irritate the crap out of me too.

This one was about what husbands supposedly want to tell their wives but don't.  

"Sounds scandalous!  I must to read!" I thought to myself.  (note: in my mind that sounded like cookie monster or Yoda or some sort of amalgamation of the two.)

Apparently, I am supposed to think things like "I want to cuddle" or "I want you to take charge in the Bedroom" or "I am fed up with date night" or whatever.

I don't think any of this.  For real!

When I want to snuggle with Mama Bear I just do, and it quickly turns into a family pile where a little boy is crawling around all over us while we are desperately trying to protect our faces while watching "Nature" or something on the television.

The very thought of asking Mama Bear to take charge in the bedroom makes me giggle!

She can take charge all she wants, but the boy's going to wake up and cock block me anyway.

And, as far as being fed up with date night goes...we don't have one.  We have family nights if anything, which I love.

Mama Bear and I had 10 years of date nights before Pizzly was born.  It was great!  Then we decided we wanted to have a family, so we had Pizzles and soon will have two-zy hanging around too.

Now, we have family nights, and that is way better than date night!

Friday, June 1, 2012

No Park = Daddy Getting a Beat Down!

So, yesterday the boy threatened me with bodily harm should I fail in my attempt to convince Mama Bear to take him to the park.

Well, what can I say?  

I'm a failure!

Unfortunately, the boy is holding true to his threat.  He has been jumping on me and beating me up all morning.  I honestly thought I was out of trouble last night too because we took him to see Grammy and Grampy where they spoiled the sauce out of him, which is always a good time for him.

They even gave him a special treat to gnaw on, and he has enough of it to last for days!

Yes, that is rhubarb he is chewing on and enjoying.  It was the only thing in Grammy's garden that was ready to harvest, and it just happens to be one of the boy's favorite things to chew on. 

It's like candy to him.  Where normal kids enjoy something like a snickers bar, Pizzly would rather have a rhubarb stalk.  But, to be fair, he has never had chocolate before because Mama Bear is allergic to it and wants to wait until he can tell us if he is having an adverse reaction to it before we let him try it.

Until then, he is stuck eating non-chocolaty goodness, which   just strums Grammy and Grampy's sympathy strings, which is why they made sure that they gave Pizzly 25-30 stalks of rhubarb before we left for home last  night.  

He ended up tasting just about every stalk by the time we made it home.

Naturally, since he had so much fun there and even came home with enough rhubarb to satisfy him for a day or two, I thought he would be fine with not going to the park. 

Wrong!!

So now, I have to deal with the consequences of my inability to talk Mama Bear into going to the park yesterday, which isn't exactly fun but still is in a weird kind of way.  Sure, he's been a holy terror all morning, but it is in the cheeky and fun kind of way.

Anyway, the only way to redeem myself is by making the rain stop and taking him to the park right now!  Other than that, I am facing one heck of a beat down.  Toddler style!