Monday, October 31, 2011

Pumpkin Carving Madness!

Well, pretty tame Pumpkin carving actually.


But, hey, it was fun nonetheless.


Oh! Guess what we're having a first here at Just a Dizzy Dad Head quarters.  For the first time ever we're posting video featuring Pizzly.  Take a gander and Happy Halloween!





P.s. We had a great time carving up our very own jack-o-lantern, but once the pumpkin had a face we weren't too thrilled about it anymore.  At this moment, Pizzly is scolding the poor pumpkin and making it sit in the corner.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Yay for Friday even if it is Looking Crazy 'Round Here!

Yay! Today is the day our town is sponsoring a zombie walk for the local SPCA, which means my goofy neighbor across the street is already dressed for it.  I am guessing he is supposed to be a cross dressing zombie or something.  I thought about telling him that the walk doesn't start until 5, but I decided not to because for the last two years I have really tried hard to pretend that the guy doesn't exist.  


Why ruin all that work by talking to him right?

Anyway, I can already tell that today is going to be one of those days where I am going to go bat bananas.  My crazy cat is attacking everything he can.  Right now he is walking around with a piece of bread he just "killed," and Pizzly is flipping his shznit because he thinks that my man boobs should provide nourishing milk like mommy's.

Since they won't, and I'm not willing to let him try he's on a rampage.  

Awesome!

It's a good thing he's cute, and I find his tiny toddler rage filled tantrums adorable because, otherwise, I swear there would be times when I could totally understand why some lower level animals eat their young.

I'm glad it's Friday!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Good Bye Ceramic Rooster! We'll Miss You...Kind of

Poor old Rooster.  Never knew what hit him!
Well, I have some sad, sad news today.


Pizzly's companion; his co-conspirator and partner in all things wicked has passed on to ceramic rooster paradise after suffering a mortal wound following an accident last night.

He might have been saved, but evil Mama Bear placed a D.N.R. order, so all we could do was look on as he passed with the super glue uselessly in our hands just begging to be applied. 

Oh well, we all knew that it was just a matter of time before Rooster fell.  He was more or less just counting the days himself.  

After all, how long could a fragile, ceramic rooster reside in a house hold with a toddler continuously waging war before something tragic happened? 

We all assumed that during the heat of battle he would pass on gloriously, but not like this; not with only a minor flesh wound stemming from a bump from a clumsy dad. 

Yes, it's true!

I accidentally caused the death of our big, always in the way ceramic rooster.  It was about 9 P.M.  I was tired and having difficult mastering my motor skills, like usual, which is why I walk with a cane, when I bumped the rooster and he fell over.  

I didn't even realize that I had bumped him until I heard him hit the floor.  I feel horrible!

Now, like the liar I am, I have to hide him from Pizzly and tell him that his rooster went to go and live on a farm with other roosters and hens.

Luckily, toddlers have short memories!  Otherwise, I might end up having to replace the dreadful thing.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Signs That I'm Not screwing up...Too Bad!

As a dad I am constantly worried that I am screwing up.  I mean I even have nightmares about it.  I worry so much that I hyperventilate at times just thinking about it, and these parenting magazines and websites aren't making it any better for me.  

Everywhere you look there are all these parenting do's and don'ts that I'm supposed to follow religiously! 

It's quite overwhelming I'll you what.

Why is parenting so freakin' scary?!

Well, it's not.  It just takes a little dedication.

And, to help me remember that, and to help me calm down and relax a little, I came up with a list of signs that I'll be looking out for in order to help let me know that I am on the right track and needn't worry so much.

Here.  Let's go down my list right now.

1.) Is he smiling?

Check.

Smiles and laughter are pretty good indicators of happiness in my book.  As long as Pizzly is happy, I am happy...I think.

I guess it all depends on why he is smiling and laughing.

Is he just in a good mood or has he done something wicked and awful?

This calls for an investigation! 

2.)  Is he clothed?

Well...kind of.

If by clothed you mean "Is he wearing anything at all?"  then yes he is clothed.

In fact, he is wearing his favorite froggy boots and was wearing the remains of a onesie until about five minutes ago.

No, he isn't wearing a diaper or anything, but he's at home, and it is warm enough in here for him to run around necked if he wants to.

Besides, we are working on house breaking the little rascal.  If he's wearing pants, he won't use the potty.  However, if he is starkies he'll hop on and pee like nobody's business all by himself.

And, it isn't like I take him outside of the house all necked.  He's always perfectly clothed and properly dressed whenever we go out anywhere.  Sure, sometimes he strips down once 
we arrive, but we always start fully clothed.

The aftermath of a Pizzly Tornado!
3.) Is he relatively clean?

Well, that is a tricky question.

He certainly isn't the cleanest he's ever been, but he also isn't at his dirtiest either.

I'll put it this way.  We started clean this morning and then had breakfast, ran around like crazy, found the flour container, played in spilled flour, found and played with the play dough, had a snack, and now are sleeping peacefully on the couch with a pile of crayons and coloring books.  

He even seems to have found marshmallows from somewhere.

So, no.  He isn't very clean anymore, but I promise you he was at some point this morning.  Besides, the good thing about kids is that they are washable.  Before we head out to the local hardware store I'll clean him up and get the marshmallow out of his hair, and you'd never know that he was filthy because that's how well he cleans up.   

It's amazing!

Pizzly preparing for war with the new
sword Mama Bear bought him.
Thanks Mama Bear!
4.) Is he actively harming himself or anything/anyone else?

No.  But, the day is still young yet, so the possibilities are endless!

Truthfully, I am usually on the ball enough to stop him from actively harming himself, but as for others...I can't honestly tell you that I stop that from happening all that often because most of the time the others that he is attacking and harming is ME!

That's okay though.  He's only 19 months old.  I should be able to handle it.

Should being the key word in that sentence.

I can't tell you how many heated battles we have had,  but there's been plenty!  Most of the time I end up almost winning too, but he always seems to pull it off in the end!

So, it seems that I, poor old Da, am the only one that Pizzly ever causes harm to, and that is ok...I guess.     

And, finally:

5.) Have I ever been visited by Child Protective Services?

No.  

I may not be the best father in the world, but my kid is never put into any avoidable danger/risk, so that means that I am not the worst father in the world either at least.

Yeah, admittedly there are times when Pizzly drives me absolutely bat crap insane, but that is all part of the gig.

He is supposed to drive me nuts.  He's supposed to push me away like yesterdays newspaper.  He's supposed to trash the house and wreak havoc in general.  He's a toddler that's what they do.

My job is to keep him healthy.  I'm supposed to make sure he is well fed.  I keep track of all his bumps and bruises.  I make sure that he is happy.  I make sure he's safe and secure.  I constantly clean up after him no matter how foul it gets.  I act like a fool to make him smile.  I cuddle with him on the couch whenever I can.  I do whatever I can for him.  

It doesn't matter how crazy he makes me.  It doesn't matter how much he pushes me away.  I do all this because I'm a parent.  I love him, and that's what do.   


There.  Already I feel better.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Wicked, Tricksy ROOSTIFER!

Wicked, Tricksy Roostifer!
Roostifer I hate  you!

How dare you roll up in here and try to replace me as Pizzly's favorite playmate?!

You know how insecure I am, and how much I crave his attention and affection!

So, why would you...Oh! You...You whorebag of a puppet!

That hug should be mine!

But, no!  You stole it like a thief in the night! 

You just had to infiltrate our lives and take over like the tricksy devil you are!

Bastard Roostifer!

I hates you!

Yes, I've really hit an all time low.  I really am jealous of a rooster puppet!

Ever since he's rediscovered that goddamn Roostifer, Pizzly has forgotten all about me.  I used to be his favorite pal, but now I am no good unless I have my hand stuck up a rooster's ass, making it squawk/talk!  

Do you know how degrading that is?

I feel so dirty!

But, what are the alternatives?  Not playing with the boy?  

That's unacceptable!  His attention is like crack to me.  I needs it!

So, if having my hand shoved up a rooster's butt is the only way that Pizzly will play with me so be it.  I'll do it gladly even if I do think it is making him weird!

Notice that there is another Rooster in the back ground
cheering him on!
For instance, this morning when I was taking a photo of him being wicked cute, he decided that he was going to "flash" the camera!

What the hell is that all about?!

I'd really like to know where he learned that behavior from!

Certainly not from me!

I tell you that Roostifer is a bad influence!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I Need Play Time!

Well, lately I've been feeling like a shut in.  Ever since we started our renovation project I haven't gotten out of the house all that much unless it is to go out and get some supplies, for building.  It's starting to wear me out!

I just keep telling myself that it will be over soon, and then I'll be able to comfortably go to the Science Center or the Zoo or even the sketchy park with the boy again.  

I'm just sayin' that it will be nice to go back to our old routine that's all.  I know that Pizzly'll appreciate it too.

Well, at least I'm learning stuff, like how to run electrical wire and connect it to the panel box, which is kind of difficult if you don't see colors all to well.  When that's the case labeling becomes a necessity I'll tell you what!

I've also learned that proper planning and calculation is kind of important.  If you plan and calculate what you'll need properly, it will save you a butt load of time.  I'd probably be done with this project by now if I hadn't needed to run out and get stuff constantly.  I swear I have been at the local hardware store more than I have been building.  It's ridiculous!

I hate wasting time like that when I could be playing with my son.

When you get used to spending the weekdays just playing and romping with your kid, you kind of miss it when you can't do that for awhile, even if it is only for a brief amount of time. I hate having to have a babysitter for him while I am only 23 feet away.  

Alas, you can't have a 19 month old running around while you're using a circular or reciprocating saw.  I've been told it's dangerous or something.  So, for his safety he's gotta be locked inside while Grammy watches him.  

I miss the little tyke!  

Yeah, I know.  I see him through the window laughing and waving to me off and on all day, but that just isn't the same as actually being with him.

I need play time!  

Oh well, like I said, soon this renovation thing will be completed, and we will be able to get back to our old routine.  

You know, I can't believe that I was ever excited about this building stuff.  I am so over it now!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Yay! It's our Anniversary!

Yep!  It's true!  Nine years ago today Mama Bear and I decided to take the old wedding vows, and, let me tell you, these past nine years felt like an eternity.

I'm just kidding!

They've been great...for me at least.  I can't say for sure how she feels about the whole ordeal, but I like to think that she feels the same as I do.

Anyway, every Oct. 18 since 2002 I like to sit back and reflect.  I try to consider what my life would have been like with out the woman of my dreams, and I like to try and think of all the great things that we have given to each other.  But, there's a problem when I do.

Firstly, I can't imagine my life without Mama Bear!

Secondly, when I think on all of the things that my darling wife and I have together and all the sacrifices that we have made for everything we have, I start to realize just how selfish I really am.  

You see, she's the one that does all the sacrificing.  All I have to do is sit back and relax!  She's the one that has to deal with having a sick husband who has never had a decent job.  She's the one that worked so I could get my undergraduate degree, and then when I did receive it I ended up searching for a job for 8 months  only to find a crappy job that paid just over minimum wage.  Then I ended up leaving that job to work at a retail store.

Yeah, it is safe to say that I have never really contributed to our household finances, and I feel horrible for it!

But, there is more to life than wealth!  

Unfortunately, I don't contribute to much of anything else either!  I am grouchy, I'm lazy, and I'm not good at anything.  Well, that's not true.  I'm a pretty kick ass dad!  But, other than that, I don't have a lot going for me.  So, there is always a part of me that is wondering and waiting for my wife to realize that she can do better.  

But, at about the time I start worrying, I start thinking of the few things I did contribute in our relationship.  Well, of the one thing anyway.  The most important "thing" of all, our son.  With out me he wouldn't be, and a world with out him would be seriously lacking something, something big and beautiful.  

I can't help but see grand things in his future!

Sure, now he seems to have all the tendencies of a perverted old man who poops in his draws and goes elbow deep down  any woman's shirt he can, but that doesn't mean he isn't on the path to growing into a wonderful man who is capable of doing/achieving just about anything he sets his mind to.

That gets me thinking, and I think this every morning when I wake up, which is why it takes me a few more seconds to get out of bed then my wife and boy.  

I'm thinking that I am a lucky guy!  

I have two wonderful people living with me that I love with all my heart. 

If only everyone could be so lucky!

Happy Anniversary Mama bear!  I love you so much and look forward to waking up next to you every morning for all the years I have yet to live.  I hope that you are as happy as I am even if I don't express it very well!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Breaking the Breakfast Routine!

Well, after Mama Bear left for work this morning I decided that Pizzly and I were going to have a "decent" breakfast.  You know something, other than breast milk for him and cold, black coffee for me. 

Don't get me wrong here.  I do feed him breakfast in the morning after mama leaves, but usually he doesn't eat until after his morning nap because Mama Bear leaves for work at the ass crack of dawn and he is usually too tired to want to eat after she is gone until he has a bit of a nipper nap.

So, usually, all that he needs to sustain him until after his nap is some good ole' fashioned mommy milk, which means that I "have" to lay down with him too.  Well, I don't have too, but it has been part of our morning routine for so long that it just doesn't feel right not to lay down with him.  Daddy needs his snuggles too.

Anyway, it was clear that this morning was a little different, and mommy milk wasn't going to cut it for him.  So, I decided that I was going to make breakfast before nap time, and it was going to be great because we had left over pie!

So, I warmed up some pie for both of us, I made some eggs, toast with butter, and I even put some cheerios in a bowl for the little man just the way he likes them, dry.

I thought it was a terrific breakfast!

I was wrong.

Apparently, the only thing that Pizzly wanted was the butter off the toast, so he ended up stealing my toast for its butter, and that is all he is willing to eat so far, a long with a handful or two of cheerios and a half a glass of whole milk.

So yeah, he basically had butter for breakfast!

Now, our table is littered with breakfast dishes that he has barely touched.  At least the pie and the cheerios will keep until later on, but his eggs and now butter-less toast will be all nasty. 

This leaves me with a problem.  I hate to waste food, but I am already stuffed after drinking my cold coffee and eating my pie and egg and a half.  I don't think I could finish off his half an egg or the three pieces of yucky, licked all the butter off toast.   But, I am going to have to try because I really don't like throwing away food.

This is what I get for breaking the breakfast routine!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Home Improvement Update!

Well, our remodeling project has been going on for a while now, and we finally got all the walls up...kind of.  By all the walls I mean all the exterior walls.

Anyway, since it is freezing out side I thought I would take a few pictures of our progress thus far and show them to you.  Oh, I am also going to include a photo of two of my favorite tools ever invented.


This used to be just a concrete slab under an outdoor
staircase
This is a photo of my new tool closet/bowling ball/ fishing gear cubby!

I am so excited that I will finally have a safe place to put my three or four tools along side my fly rod and tackle.  It's going to be awesome!


This used to be where we stored our recycling bins and trash
cans outside. 
This is a photo of where our new washer and dryer are going to go. 

I am thinking that a few wall cabinets and a few shelves might go up as well.

I was going to include a photo of the main entryway, but like the dolt that I am I forgot to take the picture and am too lazy to get back up and take it, so you are going to have to imagine it.  It's an 8' x 7' space that looks pretty similar to where the laundry area is but it has two doors in it.

Now, here are my two favorite tools in the whole world!


This is Mr. Fix it for when I screw up my measurements!
 I can't tell you how awesome reciprocating saws are!  One gets used here probably on a daily basis because it is so handy and can cut just about anything anywhere, and I am constantly screwing up my measurements if I bother to measure at all, so it is my go-to tool when I need to fix a mistake. 

Luckily, only a few of those have been made since I let my father in law worry about the measuring crap. 


This is dubbed my "Thor" hammer I use it for just about
everything that I don't use the reciprocating saw for. 
My second favorite tool is my 3 pound "finishing" hammer.

Now, all hammers are cool because with out them things like houses couldn't be built, but this hammer is by far the coolest. 

I use it for just about everything; framing, roofing, finished work, breaking rocks or concrete,you name it.  The only problem is if I happen to miss the nail and hit my thumb or something it really jacks my thumb up, but luckily I have it fairly well trained not to do that.

I have also noticed that since I have been using it my right arm seems to have grown bigger around than my left.  Either that or my left arm has shrunk.  I don't know.  Either way it is a weird phenomenon.   


P.s. Yes, I realize that my rock hammer isn't supposed to be used for anything that I am using it for,  but I can't help it!  It is just too damn cool not to use it for everything!


P.P.s. I am also extremely thankful for caulk.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Christmas Crazy! In October?

Well, I am super stoked today for a few different reasons.  We finished the rough framing on our addition, we passed the framing inspection for the addition, and we got a seriously cool toy in the mail today for Pizzly as a christmas present!

Pizzly's Christmas train
To be honest with you, the toy is by far the most exciting thing that has happened today and for the last few weeks.  

Yeah, we are already going a bit Christmas crazy 'round here!

Who am I kidding?  We been going Christmas Crazy since the day after Christmas.  Just look at my face for instance!  I have been growing this durned beard for almost an entire year just so I can look all snazzy in my big red suit, and I think that it is going to pay off big time!

I don't want to brag or nothin', but I'm a natural for the big man in red.

I'm even jolly...almost! 



Anyway, the real reason that my wife and I are getting all Christmas crazy is because Christmas is so much cooler now that there is a little guy running around to enjoy it with.  So, ever since last January we've been tucking away little things and holding things that Santa brought early so he can have enough room on his sleigh for everything later.

We do this for two reasons.  1 we like to by stuff for Pizzly; and 2 if we spread it out throught the whole eyear isn't such a shock to our bank account all at once in December.

The only problem with that logic is that it is so hard to wait.  I want to give the boy all his presents right now, so I can play with them!

Yes, that's right!  I want to play with my son's toys just as much as he wants to play with them, probably even more so because I get the added bonus of playing side by side with him.  That's what I really enjoy.   The toy's are just an added bonus.