There are some days where I feel like the crappiest dad ever, and yesterday was one of those days.
No, I didn't sit around and ignore the boy all day or yell at him or hurt him or anything like that.
What, I did was just as bad though. I took pleasure in the fact that the boy was having scary dreams, and, therefore, needed me to comfort him.
I'm kind of hoping that he has more of these dreams just so I can have more snuggles.
I know, I am terrible, and I feel awful for thinking it too.
But, yesterday's nap time was so nice!
He woke up terrified of something and crawled onto my chest and fell asleep there as I comforted him with my crappy singing. For a moment, I thought he was just a little baby again, then it hit me that he wasn't. He's 2 already and really starting to become a "big" boy.
I feel like I have squandered my time with him. What happened to my itty bitty baby?
He's growing, and I am obviously having a hard time with that because as the boy slept on my chest like he used to when he was just a few months old, I got all weepy and overcome with nostalgia.
I just never wanted let go of the little brat. I wanted to stay just like that forever, all snuggley and happy.
Then the little monster woke up and ruined the moment I was having with his crankiness!
I must have been squeezing him too hard or my man tears were too wet or something because as soon as his eyes opened he no longer wanted anything to do with me.
He tossed me aside like wrapping paper on Christmas morning. Then he was up and wreaking havoc like the tiny toddler tornado he is, and all I can do now is take it all in as much as possible because soon he'll be bigger and will want daddy even less.
Kids are jerks!