Tuesday, March 13, 2012

My Cute Little Demon Spawn!

I am not sure if I have ever said this before, but I am pretty sure Pizzly is pure evil.  I am not kidding you.  This kid's a holy terror!  It is like the devil himself spawned him.

I fully blame my wife and her side of the family for this because I can sarcastically say that me and my side of the family have always been perfect angels.

Yeah..that's right!  Perfect in every way...Angels!

Therefore, whenever the boy does anything bad, like set up booby traps for me to walk into or ambushes me, tries to maim me in general, or goes all Evil Knievel and jumps his tricycle off of the couch, it is Mama bear's fault.  He didn't get that crap from me!

...maybe not anyway.   I guess it could be possible, but I doubt it!

Anyway, my little demon spawn's latest trick is to innocently call out for me then...WHAM! 

He runs into me with his blasted "Pooh Pooh" train.  And, boy, does that hurt like hell, but who can yell at a two year old that is giggling like a maniac?!

Oh by the way, "Pooh Pooh" train is toddler slang for the "Winnie the Pooh" ride on toy train that it seems like all little ones have these days.

Anyway, you'd think that a grown man of 30 years old would have seen that coming.  

Well, I didn't the first time.  

Yes, I did say first time because the little Pizzmeister got me again a few more times with that evil "Pooh Pooh" train.

The first time was when he called me over to him all sweet and innocent and then he came barreling out of some hidden corner, like hog at feeding time.  Then for the second attack he managed to trick me into laying down on the floor with him and closing my eyes.  I thought we were having an impromptu nap time.  Boy was I wrong!

Yep...as soon as these baby blues were shut there was a train in my face with a baby on it laughing so hard he crapped his drawers.

It was messy too!

Then the last time he got me, which to be honest I knew it was coming because, hey, even I am not that stupid, was some elaborate train track robbery or race scheme that he came up with.

You see, he was a battery powered ride on train that came with track and everything that we got him for Christmas.  He doesn't usually ride it at all because he's to be a little timid of it.

Therefore, I was a little suspicious when he demanded that I put the tracks up and put the train on them so he could ride around.  Before too long, Pizzly decided that there was something in the wheels and was determined that I had to clean them so he could go faster.  

So, while I was cleaning the wheels I noticed didn't notice that the boy was sneaking behind me.  Then he hopped on his "Pooh Pooh" train and not only ran into my butt, but he picked the whole thing up and drove it over my bottom, and he did all this while giggling like a fiend.

Now, all I can say is "It's a good thing he's so cute!"

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