Monday, February 20, 2012

Things We Might not Have Screwed up Too Badly

The other day I wrote a post about all the things that we screwed up during the first two years of Pizzly's life and will probably continue to screw up for number 2.  

That post was meant to be cheeky and fun as well as a response to a couple of nasty, judgmental e-mails I received from a few people who were very opinionated about breastfeeding and co-sleeping and what not.  

Oh, I can't forget about potty training.  

They were horrified about our potty training schedule too, and made me feel like a terrible, slave-driving, ass of a father for starting the Pizzmeister out on it so "early."

...on second thought.  No. The crazies didn't didn't make me feel bad in the least because...well...they're crazy!

Anyway, that post was in no way all inclusive, and, yes, I do know that I have made a snapload of more mistakes than that, so you can stop e-mailing me about it.  I won't likely respond to anymore e-mail assaults. 

But, anyway, I was thinking that since on that post I listed some of my mistakes as a parent.  I feel like it is only fair for me to post some of my successes as one too.  

It's just going to be hard to find any.

Nonetheless, I will try.  Here it goes...

Things we might not have screwed up too bad whether on purpose or not and will try to keep doing for 2 : 

1.) Didn't listen to crazy advice:

-Holy crap!!!

Before Pizzly was born and in my arms I never would have believed you if you told me how many nutty people are alive and just dying to give you crappy advice on parenting. 

And, it seems that the crazier the person the more opinionated they are!

Well, you know what they say about opinions right?

Apparently, they are like poopers!  We all have one, and chances are your own won't be the worst smelling so hold your breath while someone else is giving you theirs.

Luckily, Mama Bear and I have stuck to our guns and not listened to any of these crazy people about how we are doing everything wrong no matter how emphatic the e-mails seem.

Otherwise, I am not entirely sure if the little Pizzmeister would have survived it.

I mean we have had people tell us;

how co-sleeping was going to kill Pizzly,

we've been told that doctors are unnecessary,

we've been told to use whiskey as a cure all for everything from teething pain to sleep problems,  

I've heard lectures about how the vaccines we gave Pizzly are going to give him autism,

I've been harangued about how me being a stay at homer was sending the wrong moral message to the boy and that I had no business being the stay at home parent anyway because I could never be the parent to him my wife can be because I have one of these penis things,

We've been lectured on the whole cut vs. uncut debate and how circumcision was the only "normal" option, 

I've been told that I have to sanitize everything I own every five minutes otherwise the kid will get sick

I've heard how the flu vaccine is a conspiracy of some sort and all he needs to stay healthy is an orange

We've heard that breastmilk is some sort of magical antibiotic, vaccine, and multivitamin all in one.  Your baby needs nothing more than that apparently.

And, we've even been chastised because the boy started walking at 8 months old, like we could stop him.  Crazyness!!!

Well, despite all of this bad advice and these crazy admonitions, Mama Bear and I have thus far managed just fine doing what we feel as right.

The boy's alive, happy, healthy, and, seemingly, well adjusted.

What else could we ask for?

2.) Asked a pediatrician/PA/Nurse about medical advice rather than an online forum or people on face book:

-Sure, sometimes you might get lucky and get good advice from these venues, but you might also get some nut job telling you that mama's boob milk is magical and can somehow cure pink eye, thrush, the mange, whooping cough, or what ever other ailment your child is likely to suffer.

Yes, I am sure that breast milk is good for the kid, but let's face it.  It isn't the magical curative substance that so many people tout it as.

Remember.  If it sounds crazy, it probably is. 

And, Yes. I know people believe these ludicrous ideas because I have seen all of this posted on a face book page I used to follow until I found out how nutty it was.

Therefore, you can rely on your facebook friends for medical advice all you want, but this guy's going to go ahead and call the pediatrician's office.

3.) Learned to lighten up:

-When Pizzly was a newbie around here I remember being terrified of going anywhere with him. 

The grocery store was my objective, and the parking lot was my warzone.  I was terrified to go to battle.

Well, I out grew that crap!  Thankfully!

All I had to figure out was that kids are not all that fragile, and there really isn't all that much I can't do now that I could do before the little tyke was born.   It really is like having a little wingman to run errands with.

4.) Family Reading time:

-This is one of the things I am most proud of.

We have read to Pizzly for at least a half an hour every day of his life.  From "A Farewell to Arms" in the hospital to "The Secret Garden" now, we have managed to keep reading to him every day, and somehow the little puke picked up on the alphabet.

Now, he can recognize letters by sight and proudly shout them out.  I guess reading time has its merits

Well, that's it for this list.  I am sure that I have done more things right, just as I am sure I screwed up more than what I put in the other post, but this will suffice for now.

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