Recently,(well not so recently) I have come to the determination that I am gross!
I am not sure if it is because I am a dad now or if I was always like this, but I can say this; having the boy around is definitely making it more noticable.
Now, I am not only, hairy, smelly, and farty, but I also have learned that I will eat just about anything with out even thinking about it.
All I need for provocation is the boy to hand it to me or for me to find whatever I am about to ingest somewhere.
This morning I have eaten two gross things already, and it's not even 7:30 yet!
1st, after Pizzly and I fed the dogs, he grabbed some kibble out of one our dog's mouth, which is a big no no and he got yelled at over it. Luckily, our dogs are wicked cool with him.
Anyway, after I yelled at him about messing with the dogs, he walked over to me and put the soggy kibble in my mouth. I of course was tired and not paying attention by then, so I ate it. Then realized what it was I just ate and immediately rushed to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
The 2nd gross thing I ate was a hairy prune I found inbetween the couch cushions. I saw it, recognized it was hairy, but that didn't matter. I still ate it because I like prunes. At least I made an attempt to pull the hair off of it before hand, and I knew it was only a day or so old because we just had prunes yesterday and the day before. So, it couldn't be that old.
No big deal. At least it got the soggy kibble taste out of my mouth.
Anyway, after eating the kibble and the prune I realized something. I have been eating some wicked gross things for quite awhile. It all started about 2 years ago when the boy was still eating breast milk.
I used to have to smell test it to see if it was still good, but I learned that sometimes breast milk doesn't always smell "off" when it in fact has gone sour. So, if I was unsure. I'd taste it.
Let me tell you. There is little in this world that is grosser than breast milk gone sour.
Now, before you e-mail me in disgust about feeding my son sour breast milk let me tell you this. That stuff doesn't keep for all that long. And, sometimes even when you freeze it immediately after it is pumped it is no good, and sometimes it wasn't good by the time Mama Bear brought it home after she pumped at work. It happens.
Anyway, I think it was the tasting of the breast milk that could be sour that started me out on this trend of eating just about anything.
Since then, I have eaten granola bars that were prechewed by a toddler, prechewed cheese, and whatever else the boy decides he doesn't like and spits out of his mouth and shoves into mine.
No, it isn't like I choose to eat this stuff. The boy will more likely than not pick up whatever he spits out and try his darndest to put it in my mouth, and I have learned that resistance is futile, so I just accept whatever thing he is trying to feed me as long as it is edible.
I am not sure if all parents are gross like this or if it's just me, but I am hoping it's the former and not the latter.
Jeez...What if it's just me? What does that say about my self-esteem?