There are few things in life that I find more bizarre and more confusing than toddlers. I mean, everything is either the biggest deal in the world or not important at all. And, a toddler will always find a way to surprise you.
They're like tiny evil geniuses!
And, no matter how hard you try to trick them they will always call you on it!
This morning after my wife left for work I told Pizzly that I didn't know how to play his favorite movie about helicopters because, truthfully, I was sick of watching it. I even suggested watching the big purple, jerky dinosaur just for a change in scenery and background noise!
It didn't work!
He just gave me this look like I was crazy and handed me the remote.
Then I tried to tell him that the batteries were dead in the remote and I didn't know where there were anymore, so he ran and grabbed the phone and told me to call Mama Bear.
She knows where everything in the house is, which is totally, disturbingly true. It is like she has a running catalogue in her head. If you ask her she will be able to tell you where things are that I didn't even know we had.
Well, anyway, in a last ditch effort to avoid watching "Super Choppers" for the 100th time I told Pizzly that I forgot Mama Bear's phone number.
By now he was thoroughly disgusted with me.
He grabbed the remote from my hands, turned it on, accusingly pointed at the light that says it's on, and tossed it back in my lap.
So far my plan was backfiring in a big way, but I had one more trick up my sleeve. I told the boy that I forgot how to use the remote.
Now he was past disgusted and just pissed. He grabbed the remote again, looked at it, found the play button, showed me the button, pushed the play button, and then tossed the remote across the room because he was apparently afraid that I would screw it up for him again.
Then he sat down and forgot that I existed at all.
All this left me with two questions:
If he could have done it by himself the whole time anyway, why didn't he?
And, what happened to the whole out of sight out of mind thing?
I guess that doesn't apply when it comes to something that they really want. At least that's how it has always been with the Pizzmeister.