This morning after Mama Bear left for work, Pizzly and I sat down and had a discussion about all the mistakes we made as a family since he came around. Well, I did most of the talking. Pizzly was busy watching helicopters on youtube.
Anyway, the whole point of this discussion was for me to determine what I think we did wrong as a family and what we did right, and how we as a family can fix the wrongs for when Two comes out.
I ended up making a list.
Mistakes We Probably Will Make Again
1.) Giving the kid a name that we like:
-To hell with what other people think.
I know. It is hard to consider that giving a name to your child that you actually like rather than a "mainstream name" like John, Paul, Robert, Michael, or any of those names that end in "er" or "en" or "in" could be a mistake, but, apparently, A lot of other people think that it is.
I have been told everything from "think of how other kids will react to it" to "think of the poor teachers!"
I'm sorry but the name we picked out for Pizzly isn't that bad. And, if some little punks with names like L-A or Tierade, or Billy Bob or whatever are going to pick on him about it, then chances or he was going to get picked on anyway.
It is just how it goes.
And, as far as the teachers go. If these poor under-educated people think that their opinions should actually matter to me then they are delusional. Their job is to
babysit "teach" all of our kids so we can go out and make the money we need to in order to pay school taxes so they have a job the next day that they can complain about relentlessly.
2.) Hoarding baby toys and what not:
- Yeah. I am not seeing us being any different than before.
we're probably still going to go out and buy all the flashy crap that we think we need all over again. Our tiny house is going to get even more cluttered with kids toys, and there isn't anything I can do about it because I just don't think right. I want my kids to have absolutely everything that they want if I can give it to them.
But, I also don't want them to grow up with this sense of entitlement that so many of our youngsters have these days.
Hmm...is that because all the other parents give their kids exactly what they want too?
(I might have to come up with a plan here)
3.) Pretending to take other people's advice into consideration:
-When Pizzly first came out I felt like I was inundated with advice from everybody. I mean crazies, old timers, childless couples who think their dogs or cats are like their children, other "hip" parents, medical professionals, you name it. They all had their two cents that they wanted to toss in the pot.
Unfortunately, I, not wanting to come off as too rude or ungrateful, acted like I was actually listening to all these jerks, which was a big problem.
For some reason, the simple act of pretending to give a crap about what they say sent all these advice givers a signal telling them that they could just pester me with their unsolicited advice anytime they wanted because I clearly didn't know what the hell I was doing and clung to their words like gospel.
Now, I admit. I really am clueless when it comes to parenting stuff, but from the looks of it. You all are just as clueless too, so please keep your advice to yourself unless some one asks you for it.
And, if you feel like you have to give me advice that I don't ask for don't be offended when I only pretend to listen to you and never actually do anything that you say is a good idea.
4.) Maintaining my subscription to Parenting mags:
- I am beginning to really hate these parenting magazine things, but for some reason I just can't see myself cancelling our subscription.
I never get anything out of reading them because I am the wrong gender, so why do I even bother?
The only thing I can think of is that for some sick reason I actually like that they infuriate me so.
Maybe, I should think about visiting a shrink!
5.) Feeling like the worst Da ever:
-I can't help it, and I know I am wrong to feel like this, but I really do think I am a terrible parent most of the time.
I am constantly second guessing myself, saying things like, "Dude, you probably could have handled that better." or "Should I really have let Pizzly do that?"
And, then I start thinking about all the advice I tried so hard to ignore and start to freak out because what if all those jerks were right?!
I start thinking things like:
-Maybe, we shouldn't have decided to breastfeed.
-Maybe, we shouldn't have started feeding him solids and instead exclusively fed him breast milk until he was one.
-Maybe, co-sleeping was a bad choice, and we'll end up smothering him even though he is two.
-Maybe, I shouldn't have tried to potty train him at such a young age.
-Maybe, I shouldn't let him roll around in the dirt and grass and have tons of fun.
-Maybe, I should have just let him cry it out.
-Maybe, I do let him nap too long everyday.
-Maybe, we should have bought baby food rather than make our own.
-Maybe, we should have just given him a standard, white bread name like Timmy, Mikey, Danny, or Bobby.
You see, I am constantly second guessing myself, and rarely do I ever stop and consider the fact that my son is a living, happy, healthy, well-adjusted, two year old who gets all the love in the world. I couldn't have been too bad so far...
...But, why does it seem like it to me still?
More importantly, if I ever do start thinking that I have done enough and stop second guessing myself does that mean that I really have become a terrible Da?
I better get that magazine and see if they have an answer.