Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Loaded Skinny Jeans! Yuck!

I have noticed a disturbing trend lately on FaceBook. 

It seems like just about every highschool/college age kid has posted a photo of themselves either shirtless or lifting up their shirt to show off their tummies!

Why is that?

And what is it with these skinny jeans that all the "cool" kids are wearing these days?

I just don't get it!

Man, I am getting old!

It makes me wonder how far out of style I am.  You know.  How long ago did I hop off of the fashion train, and not even realize that I had?

I think it was some time after the 80's, but before the underpants showing baggy pants phenomenon of the mid to late 90's.  Back when it was fashionable to wear a an unbuttoned button up shirt over a tee-shirt.  Yeah, I can still rock that look...I think.

But, the difference is now I do it out of necessity.  You see, all of my t-shirts are stained and none of my button up shirts fit over my tummy to button up anymore.  They must have shrank or something!

Anyway, as I look around at all these kids walking around, I have to wonder what is coming around the bend fashion wise because what they are wearing now just doesn't make sense.

Don't get me wrong here.  I really am genuinely glad that a lot of the young girls I see are secure in their self-image, but a little modesty wouldn't hurt.  And, to be frank, I am tired of my eyes being assaulted by little kid ass crack because they don't know what size pants they actually wear, and I am tired of seeing an ample amount of "love handles" poking out from underneath whatever it is that is passing as a shirt nowadays.

Now, don't think I am only talking about the little girls here.  The little boys are just as bad. In fact the only difference between what the little girls are wearing and what the little boys are wearing is that the little boys usually wear shirts that do in fact go all the way to their wasteline.  The little girls don't always.  Maybe half of the time they do.

I just hope that by the time Pizzly hops on the fashion train the newest trend won't be as horrid as the current one.  I mean I am not too sure if I can handle seeing him in those dreadful skinny jeans pulled down low with his tighty whities sticking up past his belly button.  It's just gross!

Don't these kids know that all the adults are secretly smirking and laughing at them because when they walk around it looks like they just dropped a huge load in their pants?

For the parents of those little hooligans I truly feel bad.  If it wasn't so tragic, then it might be adorable to them.  Kind of like reminding them of the days when their brat was sweet and innocent and really did have a load in his pants.

I can just see them doing the sniff by, checking to see if their 15 year old needs a diaper change. 

You know what I am talking about.  The tentative sniff test we all do around our toddlers because you really don't want to smell what "the (baby rock) has been cooking" but you have to because otherwise you would be a neglectful parent because you wouldn't necessarily know to change the little twerp.

In my mind all the parents of these little 15 year old boys who wear the skinny jeans low rider style are doing that same sniff test every morning before the little punks head out to school.  The mental image saddens and amuses me.

I just hope that my little Pizzly bear doesn't ever decide to dress like that, but if he does I guess I won't love him any less.

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