Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Trying to Bathe With a Tiny Stalker Hangin' Around

Crazy, Little Stalker Dude!
Since Pizzly was born basic hygiene has become trickier and trickier for me.  

Well, actually, it was tricky, then it was fairly simple, and now it is trickier than ever!

No, it's not that I have forgotten how to bathe or anything, even though it does look like that is the case.  The problem is finding the time to do it up right.  And, by do it up right I mean actually using soap to bathe with and a razor to shave with, not just hair clippers because it is quicker!

You know, when the boy still had that new person smell on him I had a hard time getting myself cleaned up because I was terrified of leaving him alone for five or ten minutes.  Well, I got over that after a few months, and I found that I could take a little time to actually take a shower and maybe even shave during his nap time if he was sleepy enough.  

But, now, is a different story all together.  

Now, Pizzly won't let me out of his sight...ever!  

Whatever it is that I want to do Pizzly has to make sure he is right on top of me while I am doing it.  It doesn't matter if I'm peeing, doing the dishes, vacuuming, getting lunch ready, or whatever else.  The boy is always right on my heels, demanding all of my attention like the tiny stalker he is.  99% of the time I thoroughly enjoy having him shadow me all day, but there comes a point when my greasy hair needs to be dealt with and my scrubby face would like to be less so.

Sure, I could wait until he falls asleep and then hit the shower like a freight train, but for the last week or so he insists on napping directly on top of me.  The moment I get out from under his little comatose body he immediately wakes up and screams.  In fact, as I am writing this Pizzly is draped over my lap and snoring...loudly!  I am sure that if I try to get up, he will start this dreadful, high pitched squeal/scream that he does when he is supremely unhappy, and I swear it makes ears bleed whether or not you can actually see the blood coming out of them.

OK, that's out of the question.  So, my second option is to wait for Mama Bear to come home from work and then get in the shower and trim up my crazy face hair.  Well...that isn't likely to happen either because by then I am probably going to be too tired to worry about my greasiness and stinkyness let alone my crazy face fur.  Once 6 o'clock rolls around I'm pretty much done for because I am wimpy and a lazy bugger!

I guess that leaves me with what I've been doing; bucket/sink bathing and using the hair clippers to trim the fur around my neck until the glorious weekend when I can do it up right!

If you don't know what bucket bathing or sink bathing is, then I curse you for living a pampered, luxurious life! 

...But, I'll tell you what I am talking about anyway.

Bucket and sink bathing is pretty much exactly how it sounds. You either fill a sink or a bucket with water and clean up as best you can with it.  It's quick and easy...kind of.  

Most of the time I use a bucket in the bath tub while the little man is splashing around.  It does the job, but for some reason my hair always feel yucky afterwards, so occasionally I wash my hair the sink, which seems to do a better job than the bucket.  I don't know why.

I have become quite skilled at bucket/sink bathing, but it still is no substitute for the real thing, a nice cool shower.  Yes, that's right!  A cool shower!  I am not a fan of hot showers, and I definitely don't like hot baths, but, unfortunately, that matters little to the boy who insists on doing everything with me.  He likes  baths only and they have to be piping hot.  So, if I am to bathe at all during the week it is going to be in a tub of hot water with a squirming little boy who is probably peeing in it. 

Wow!  Lucky me!



  1. Shave? I thought you had already forgotten how to do that judging by the length of your beard. Now I understand why it's so long. Have fun with the little Pizzly.

  2. I still shave my neck and my cheeks up to my eyelids when I can. I started letting the rest grow out in last January for three reasons really. 1. When I trimmed my hair and beard it freaked out the little man, so I decided to not do that again. 2. I wanted to see how long the hair would grow in a year. 3. I have this nifty red suit that I wear only a couple of times a year between Thanksgiving day and CHRISTMAS day that a real beard goes great with.