Friday, September 2, 2011

These are the Days that....

These are the days that try parents' souls patience!

The boy, the dog, and I all share a common personality trait.  We are all defiant, but of the three of us the boy is the worst because he's adorable and gets away with it.  Plus, he's sneaky too!  The cute little bugger.  The worst the dog ever does is hunker down and gobble faster when you tell him not to eat something.  Me?  I'm a different, non-important story.

It's the boy I'm worried about.

Yes, I know it has everything to do with his age and self-discovery and all the rest of that malarky, so don't bother trying to explain to me the importance of his defiance.

It is really quite cute and amusing anyway...for now.  

His answer to everything is a cute little, sing-songy "Naaah!" and it doesn't matter what you ask him.

   Momma Gave him a nice nutritious breakfast.
Mmm...Banana, bologne, and crackers with cheese.
This morning while I thought he was eating his breakfast I asked, "Hey Pizzly.  D'ya have to go peepee in the potty?" 

Pizzly:  "Naaah!" (while peeing on the floor)

Me: "What do you want to do today?  Do you want to go to the park?" (While cleaning up stinky toddler urine)

Pizzly: "Naah!"

Me: "How about the Science Center?"

Pizzly: "Naah!"

And it just went on from there.

Whatever I asked him his immediate answer was "Naah!"  Soon I noticed that he wasn't really eating his breakfast.

"Hmm..." I thought.  "What is he up to now?"

I automatically assumed that he was feeding the dog on the sly by putting all his food on the floor because, for some reason, he finds that amusing, but it was clean down there.

"What are you upto?" I asked to which he responded "Naaah!" while looking at me innocently.

I told him to eat up, which was apparently the wrong thing to do because then it became a game.  A game I wasn't going to win.  Now, he knew I wanted him to eat, so he wasn't going to, but he would pretend to.  And he played me the fool.

The spread it out technique.  The oldest trick in the book
when it comes to fooling your parents into thinking
your actually eating!
I believed that he actually was eating.  

To my recently woken and still sleepy eyes it looked like he was really packing it away.

Apparently, he is a master of deception.  I honestly, didn't know what he was up to.  It probably wouldn't have mattered if I had because I am sure I would have lost this game today anyway.

It wasn't until he got bored and gave up all pretense of eating that I learned what a fool I had been to believe that he was actually eating.

Those are some weird looking turds! 
When he was clearly finished I went to pick him up and get him out of his high chair and thought it odd that he was laughing.

When I got him up and out of the chair I noticed something alarming.  He had stuffed most of his breakfast under his bum, but being as groggy as I was I didn't really recognize what it was I was looking at down there at first.  

For a few seconds I really thought that he had crapped in his high chair and I was concerned that his poopy didn't look right.

I almost called the doctor's office, but then I noticed that the nude boy I was holding was covered in crumbs, cheese, and a few banana bits.  It seems the only thing he did manage to eat most of was his bologna.   

So, instead of going to the doctor's we went to the bath.

Let the dogs clean up the rest.

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