You may not know this about me, but I am a junker. Well, not really. I just love to look at junk, which is why this past weekend was so glorious. There was an entire 50 mile road dedicated to garage sales. I swear I was junk drunk!
I saw everything from rusty bottle caps to a young woman hula hooping incessantly, and, the best part was, it was all for sale except for the hula hoopin’ chick of course. I am pretty sure she was just chillin’ and not selling her soul to the devil or anything, but nowadays who knows. Anything’s possible.
Anyway, the only thing that stopped me from buying a bunch of other people’s junk that I don’t really want or need was the fact that my wife was with me and so was the little man, and I promised them both that I wouldn’t spend money on stuff other than what we specifically were looking for, which was a set of kitchen chairs, a ride on tractor for the boy, and a wagon. We didn’t find any of that of course.
I don’t know about my sweety, but I felt like such a failure! Here we were travelling down a 50 mile long road with garage sale after garage sale and yet we found naught but a few little toys and books for the little man. It was like we let him down when he didn’t even know what we were up to because we never told him.
Of course, he didn’t really care much one way or the other because he slept most of the time, and we didn’t dare wake him because there is little in life that is worse than having a tired, cranky baby in the car with you. So, for the majority of the time one of us had to quietly jump out of the car at any sale we were desperate to look through while the other sat in the truckster with the AC running hoping that the boy wouldn't wake up.
Soon, it became apparent that our lives were in peril because as the day progressed more and more junk drunk people came out, and they were driving just as poorly as I was.
There were people driving on the wrong side of the road. There were people stopping erratically and opening their doors into traffic without even looking. But, I think that the pedestrians were the worst by far. I almost hit a dozen people who decided to just run out into the street without even so much as a glance.
So, due to the insanity, we decided to call it a day after only 45 miles of the epic junk sale, but we couldn’t go home empty handed. We had to get at least one of our “big ticket items” before we threw in the towel, so we hit walmart on the way back to the house and picked up a new wagon for the boy even though it was wicked expensive.
I’m sorry I just couldn’t help myself. It even came with an awning, two fold up seats, and cup holders!
How cool is that?
And, that’s when it dawned on me. Sometimes there is a reason that they call junk sales junk sales. Think of all the time I could have saved if I had just shopped at a department store instead of travelling 40-45 miles down a road hoping to find exactly what I wanted lying around on someone's yard or in their garage.
I guess that’s why god created craig’s list, so people wouldn't have to spend hours and hours hunting through junk sales.