Friday, August 12, 2011

Getting Playdates is both Hard to do and a Little Creepy Too!

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No no!  I am certainly not going to write anything that I have written before today.  I am going to complain about the park yet again, and I am going to state how weird it is trying to find other kids for the boy to play with.  It almost feels like marriage brokering…kind of…

Ok, so yesterday my wife and I decided to take the boy to the park, which should have been awesome since she doesn’t get to go with us most of the time, and, at first, it was.  We were having a great time!  The whole walk there gave us a chance to chat and relax.  It was wickedly cool!

But, then we arrived at our destination, the trashy park in the center of town. 

Yeah, of all the parks in our little city, and I mean little city, this one is probably the best, and that isn’t saying much at all.  I have learned that there are basically two types of people that frequent it, and I don’t exactly fit in in either group.  

First, you have the morning and before lunch crowd, which is made up of Stay at home moms that go there to socialize, which is really cool.  But, these moms are always dressed in fancy schmancy clothes and sitting in their lawn chairs with their boxes of wine trying their darnedest to resemble the cast from the show “Desperate Housewives.”  

Yeah, occasionally, they might even get up and stagger over to their kids and try to play with them, but that doesn’t happen often.  Usually they just sit there talking about everyone else at the park, and they don’t even have the common decency to keep their voices lowered.
N ot really me by the way, but pretty close

Yeah…I am pretty sure that they hate me because I can hear everything that they’re saying.  But, you know what?  That’s fine with me.  I am well aware that they think I am the skeevy hairy guy because, well…I’m hairy.  I have this gigantic bushy beard that I am growing until December 25th then I am trimming it down. 

Yeah, I know that hair is scary, and, therefore, my luscious beard makes me skeevy to most people, and why would the Desperate Housewife crew be any different, but come on!  I can't be that bad.  I am there with my kid after all, and I am actively playing with him.  

The other reason that they find me contemptible is the fact that I am only ever dressed in stained, dirty looking clothes that I can’t necessarily blame on the kid.  I guess that makes me a "Dirt Filthy!" 

But it’s the park!  I am there to play with my boy not to look nice.

Anyway, besides the snarky, “Desperate Houswives” emulating women the other type of people that show up at the park are either teenagers,  smokers, or people that are only their so they can “visit” their kids while they fight with their ex’s.  

Oh, I mustn’t forget about the obnoxious under-educated folks that go to the park and swear up a storm and generally act like they either hate their kids or hate their lives, but there is always someone at the park like this.  It doesn’t matter what time of day it is.

Anyway, as far as the others, they are what I like consider to be the late morning to early evening crew.  It was this crew that my wife and I had the pleasure of viewing at the park yesterday. 

When we got there I swear it was like a congregation of smokers.  There were so many of them that we couldn’t even get away from them by staying at the opposite side of the playground because they were everywhere!  And, to make it worse, it seemed like the majority were separated parents that only showed up so they could see their children while they shouted and swore at their ex’s.  Let me tell you it was pretty darn uncomfortable!   I would have been able to deal with it if there were kids there that were the boy’s age he could play with, but no such luck.

Honestly, to tell you the truth I wouldn’t have noticed really how bad the park was if my wife wasn’t there to point it out to me because I have pretty much gotten used to it by now.

Anyway, it was yesterday’s voyage to the park that made me determined to organize some sort of playgroup or playdates with other kids around the boy’s age.  So, I started to type out an online profile for him and did a search on Craig’s List for other parents looking for playdates with their kids.  After all, I can’t be the only one with a toddler in need of social interaction with other toddlers.

You know, it felt good to take action.  Hopefully, we would finally find some decent people to play with and feel safe around…and then I looked at what I was typing up in the boy’s profile. 

“Sweet, energetic  18 month old looking for friends to go crazy with.

Hi, my name is (Psycho toddler from hell) and lately I have been feeling kind of lonely.  Would you like to be my buddy?  I enjoy going to the zoo, walks where my slavedaddy pulls me in the wagon while I yell out faster, going to the park where I run around like a maniac, music of any sort, walking in the woods, and so many other things.  What kind of stuff do you like to do?  Maybe we can meet up somewhere and get our play on.  I know I’m up for it.  Are you?” 

I quickly hit delete.  It was just too creepy, and definitely not unlikely to call out all the creepers for me to go any further. 

After reading what I wrote, it felt like I was trying to marry the boy off on e-harmony or something.  Yuck!  The only thing I left out was the classic candle lit dinners and long moonlit walks on the beach line that so many others claim on their dating profiles. 

Why is it so freakin’ hard to find playmates for an 18 month old?! 

P.S.  If you have a little one around 2 or so, or even better yet 18 months old, that might want to play with the boy and you live in central new york south of Syracuse and north of Whitney Point let me know.  The boy is always looking for playmates.  

My e-mail is  

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