Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Damn You Lady Gaga! Why Must You Make My Boy Love You So?!

I stole this pic from Sojones.com  Yeah, I know I am an unabashed thief!
All morning long the little man has been dancing and screaming.  I swear it has been bad enough that I had to put some serious thought into whether or not I want to call the one liquor store in town that will deliver and have something delivered.  

I decided against it.

Seriously, how bad would it look if I called to have booze delivered before noon on a weekday?

Anyway, I also decided that no one can go all day acting like a maniac without eventually crashing.  Therefore, it is only a matter of time before it happens, and then I get to go around and pick up all of the boy’s filth.  

Believe it or not, I am looking forward to that because then I will be able to finally make it to the couch, and that’s what I would consider a major accomplishment for the day.

Who’d have ever thought that Lady Gaga could cause such a stir?

It's madness I say.


The boy went from dancing mode to all out destruction mode in a matter of minutes.  Books were flying, toys were scattered, couch cushions were tossed on the floor, and it is an 18 month old responsible for all of this.  It doesn’t make sense.  You wouldn’t necessarily think that listening to Lady Gaga would cause anyone to go monkey dung insane, but apparently it does. 

Now, my house looks like what I imagine the aftermath of an all-night rave would look like.  I almost expect to see bombed out teenagers under all the wreckage or maybe even possibly a homeless person. 

Jeepers creepers!

You know, the worst part of this whole episode is that the boy insists on listening to the same song over and over again.  It’s that one that starts off with, “Let’s have some fun this beat is sick I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”  So, naturally, now I have it stuck in my head. 

It wouldn’t be so bad if I could remember the song in its entirety, but I can’t.  All I remember of it is that one line, and it’s running through my mind, which is now even mushier than it was, repeatedly.

Damn you Lady Gaga!  

Damn your sparkle ridden hide! 

Why do you have to be so appealing to toddlers?! 

Where did this bus come from in the video?!

And, what the hell does “Hut!” mean, and why do you say it a million times in this godforsaken song?!

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