Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Boy Usurper!

The past few months I have noticed a disturbing trend.  I know I have mentioned this before in posts like, "The Laws of Toddlervania," but the problem of having a harsh toddler ruler has arisen again.

There have been many heated battles between the boy and I over control of the house.  Usually, I end up with the realm safely under my control due to the fact that the boy gets bored and moves on fairly easily, but this morning was a different story.

He was persistent, and in the end he prevailed, which means  that once again I am the loyal subject to a power crazed toddler god-king. 

It all went down like this.

Like the crappy parent that I am, I allowed the boy to have cake for breakfast, which was a bad idea because that meant that one piece wasn't enough to satiate his hunger for it.

He immediately demanded a second piece, which I denied.

From there it was go time!


Look at his smug face! He may have taken me down, but
I will rise again!
He quickly sent out his cavalry led by a a singing dinosaur.


Talk about adding insult to injury!


Can you imagine the humiliation of being taken down by a dinosaur that's singing to you?


The shame was terrible!


He may look sweet, but he's a dirty fighter
and trash talker!
Then, to make matters worse, the boy sent in his trash talking ground forces to finish me off led by the dreaded happy vac!


While being viciously pummeled I was subjected to grave insults about how filthy I was and how I needed a good cleaning.


I've never felt so violated as when I was forced to lie still while the boy cleaned the filth from me with this vicious minion.
In a last effort of defiance I spit blood in his eye, the happy vac's.


That didn't make things better for me.  The ensuing torture was horrendous!







Then, I was forced to kiss the boy's feet while translating his new laws into my grown up speak. 


He even included an angry face
denoting his annoyance of my
continual defiance.






Luckily, they seem to be exactly the same as before, so I don't have to rewrite them. You can read them by clicking either here or clicking on the link at the beginning of this post.



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