The past few months I have noticed a disturbing trend. I know I have mentioned this before in posts like, "The Laws of Toddlervania," but the problem of having a harsh toddler ruler has arisen again.
There have been many heated battles between the boy and I over control of the house. Usually, I end up with the realm safely under my control due to the fact that the boy gets bored and moves on fairly easily, but this morning was a different story.
He was persistent, and in the end he prevailed, which means that once again I am the loyal subject to a power crazed toddler god-king.
It all went down like this.
Like the crappy parent that I am, I allowed the boy to have cake for breakfast, which was a bad idea because that meant that one piece wasn't enough to satiate his hunger for it.
He immediately demanded a second piece, which I denied.
From there it was go time!
|Look at his smug face! He may have taken me down, but|
I will rise again!
Talk about adding insult to injury!
Can you imagine the humiliation of being taken down by a dinosaur that's singing to you?
The shame was terrible!
|He may look sweet, but he's a dirty fighter|
and trash talker!
While being viciously pummeled I was subjected to grave insults about how filthy I was and how I needed a good cleaning.
I've never felt so violated as when I was forced to lie still while the boy cleaned the filth from me with this vicious minion.
In a last effort of defiance I spit blood in his eye, the happy vac's.
That didn't make things better for me. The ensuing torture was horrendous!
Then, I was forced to kiss the boy's feet while translating his new laws into my grown up speak.
|He even included an angry face|
denoting his annoyance of my
Luckily, they seem to be exactly the same as before, so I don't have to rewrite them. You can read them by clicking either here or clicking on the link at the beginning of this post.