Thursday, July 21, 2011

Defeated by a Toddler...Again!

Well, well, well...it seems as though the little man woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  He is extra defiant and independent today.  I am not quite sure what is going on.   He won't let me help him on his potty, he yelled at me when I tried to hold his glass for him to drink out of, he got furious when I tried to play trains with him, and to top it all off he laughed at me and then attacked when I reprimanded him for being mean to the poor dogs.  

All I said was, "Please don't hit the doggies.  That hurts them."

Then out of nowhere a streaking child flew at me from a dark corner somewhere and attacked me.  I am talking about a serious hitting and kicking attack complete with growls of laughter and ended with him licking my face because, for some reason, he finds it funny to gross me out.  

(Actually, as many of you know, many toddler kisses are nothing more than creepy, drooling, open mouthed, tongue sticking out grossness!  But, you have to accept the kisses because you are a parent, and parents have to learn to live with a whole truck load of grossness for their kids.)   

Anyway, I didn't even see the attack coming.  So, I never had a chance.  His vicious toddler kung fu! and kisses were just too much for me.  

Luckily, he was feeling merciful and graciously allowed me to live as I proved to be useful as a slave to his whims.  

He quickly had me cleaning out plastic potties, providing him with all the food and drink he could ever want, and, to top it all off, he had me performing humiliating tricks for his amusement.  

For awhile, he made me crawling around on my hands and knees barking like a dog.  Apparently, that is hilarious.

The stuff that parents do to please their brats.  Amazing!

Before the boy was born I fully understood that I would have to play with him.  In fact, I was looking forward to it, but I didn't realize then that in 17 months I would be crawling around on my hands and knees barking like a dog.  

I've got to do something quick, or I am going to lose total control of the situation.

Shhhh...my master beckons.  This never happened...

No comments:

Post a Comment