Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Damn You Elderly Types!

Damn all you elderly Types!

No, I am not talking about random old people.  I am referring to my parents, and if you guys are reading this you know you deserve it.

For some reason, only grandparents have this strange ability to rile the hell out of their grandkids, and my mom and dad are no different, and they know it!

To be honest it is grandma who is the real problem.  She’s a habitual line stepper!  She knows exactly what she is doing and takes pride in the shit that she stirs up.  I know this because I can see the evil smirk on her face while she’s doing it.

Earlier today, my mom and dad stopped by after lunch to play with the little guy.  And, to apparently let grandpa fall asleep on my couch, but that's not important. 

Anyway, while they were here they stayed well into the little man’s afternoon nap time, which isn’t a problem because I like to deviate from his normal schedule every once in a while so he can learn to be flexible.  But, there comes a point when a toddler needs his nap, but grandma wasn’t going to let that happen.

Like I said, she’s a habitual line stepper.

I am sure that she will claim innocence on this, but to that I will call bologna on her.  She knew exactly what she was doing because she’s been through it before.  She has to have.  She’s a mother.  All parents have been through the nap time wars, and some even have the scars to prove it.

So yeah, grandma can claim innocence, but I’m not buying it because magically every time the little man closed his little eyes she would say something to him at that exact moment, which would of course wake his little ass right up, effectively ruining any chance of him falling asleep.

Well, this went on until my mom knew that the little tyke was about ready to throw a complete shit fit.  Then, she just happened to leave in time to miss the throwing of the biggest tantrum ever.

What a coincidence!

I swear to you he turned evil.  His eyebrows shot up through his hair line like a possessed alien’s and his eyes narrowed into little rage filled balls.  Then there was screaming, kicking, toy tossing, floor pounding, more screaming, and eventually he covered me with projectile vomit that you could expect to see in an old horror flick. 

Yep, Da’s little angel has a dark side!

Then just as quickly as he turned into the devil, the little guy switched back to his angelic self. 

What a weirdo!

Anyway, the whole time I was in clean up mode I kept repeating to myself, “Damn those elderlies and there cursed ability to rile up the boy!”

What makes them do it?

They rile him up and then leave just in time to miss the aftermath of their work.  I can just picture them laughing their asses off because their days of dealing with devil children are over.  Now, it is a major source of amusement to rain torment down on poor unsuspecting parents especially if those parents just happen to be the offspring that tormented their lives for so long.

You know what they say.  Payback's a bitch!

Damn you elderly types.    


  1. Yeah, right. I just think he blew up because he realized we had left him. You know very well I always can make him giggle, and you're just jealous. You can be glad we didn't bring a lot of candy, and sugar him up before we left. See ya next week.

  2. Always make him giggle? Liar! You knew that was a lie when you said it. Well, I guess if you mean scream in terror or majorly piss off when you say giggle I can see that. Besides no one in this world that knows you would ever believe your innocence on this one. We all know that you are twisted. Besides you totally missed the point.

    The point was you wouldn't let him fall asleep for his afternoon nap, whether that be by annoying the crap out of him or playing with him doesn't matter. Toddlers get cranky if they miss their naps and you know that, so don't play innocent.