Thursday, June 23, 2011

Excuses, Excuses!

One of the things that has bothered me for years about people with kids, is all of the excuses that they make for their kids and for their crappy parenting of them. 

I mean there is an excuse for absolutely everything, and of course the person making all the excuses never accepts the blame for anything.


Well, I think it is about time for us all to take responsibility for our actions or lack of them.  I know.  It's a novel idea, but don't you think it is time for us to drop some of these horrid excuses we make?

I am sure you know what I am talking about, but if you don’t I’ll provide a few examples for you.


I need some me time

This is one of the ultimate excuses that a lot of parents seem to use in order to feel better about themselves for ignoring their hell raising children.  


Personally, I think it is absurd!  


I mean really.  You lost all rights of personal time the moment the little one poked an eye out of the womb. 

It’s a matter of fact that children need attention.  Constant attention.  If you can’t handle that then you’d better hope the other parent can spot for you because otherwise you are going to have some problems.   Think of it like punching in and out of a time clock at work because after all being a parent is kind of like job, so why not break it up into shifts?  

If you are the only parent, then you are screwed because that makes you the only go to guy, and your kids will never let you alone.  Sorry.


I’m a Type A Personality

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I have often heard this excuse from parents that expect their kids to excel in everything that they attempt.  Unfortunately, when the poor kid doesn’t succeed the parent explodes with rage.  The last time I saw an example of this was at a bowling alley of all places.

This poor kid threw a few gutters and his dad was furious with him for it.  Talk about ridiculous!  This guy was ridiculing his son for something as stupid as throwing a gutter while bowling.  That’s even worse than the parents that scream at their kid’s coach at a sporting event. 


What do they say when you call them on that?  


"Yeah, I am a little intense.  I guess it's because I have a type A personality."


Lame!

You can’t tell me that there is any excuse for that kind of behavior.  I don’t care if you do have a Type A personality.  That doesn’t give you carte blanch to be a douche!


I grew up in an abusive household

I don’t know how many times I have heard this over my life, and it is always uttered by someone who either is trying to excuse the fact that they have no control over their rug rats or that they themselves are abusing their kids.

Either way, it doesn’t matter.  It is time to take responsibility for your own actions.  It doesn't matter what happened to you in the past.  You are living in in the now, and you owe it to your kids to be there for them mentally.  


Part of being a parent means you have to parent your kids, and if you don’t have the confidence to discipline them then there are people out there that can help you. 

If you are using your poor childhood as an excuse for abusing your children, then you are an asshole.  There is never any excuse for abuse, and it doesn’t matter if it is verbal or physical. 


The teachers are out to get me or my son/daughter

I have already harped on this back in March on my post titled “Got Your Blinders On?” so I will be brief.

If your kid is failing subjects in school, then chances are your kid is either lazy or honestly needs help. 

Think about it! 

Why the hell would any teacher intentionally fail your kid?  What could they possibly have to gain from it?

It just doesn’t make any sense!


He/she has ADHD

Give me a break!

This is the excuse that parents make that makes me the maddest!

Lately, it seems like every kid has ADHD.  Every time you turn around someone else’s kid has been diagnosed with ADHD.  It’s ridiculous and infuriating, and I am firmly convinced that this “ailment” is primarily used as an excuse by lazy parents and teachers that don’t want to deal with an energetic kid, so they do the easiest thing they can.  


Drug 'em!

Whatever did parents and teachers do with their kids back in the day when this ailment was simply known as childhood or kids being kids?  

Here, read this list of the symptoms of ADHD that were published at PubMed health.  Then ask yourself if it sounds like anybody you know.  I bet it does.

The symptoms of ADHD are divided into inattentiveness, and hyperactivity and impulsivity.

Some children with ADHD primarily have the inattentive type, some the hyperactive-impulsive type, and some the combined type. Those with the inattentive type are less disruptive and are more likely to miss being diagnosed with ADHD.

Inattention symptoms:
1.   Fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork
2.   Has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play
3.    Does not seem to listen when spoken to directly
4. Does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace
5.    Has difficulty organizing tasks and activities
6.  Avoids or dislikes tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork)
7.     Often loses toys, assignments, pencils, books, or tools needed for tasks or activities
8.    Is easily distracted
9.     Is often forgetful in daily activities

Hyperactivity symptoms:
1.       Fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat
2.       Leaves seat when remaining seated is expected
3.       Runs about or climbs in inappropriate situations
4.       Has difficulty playing quietly
5.      Is often "on the go," acts as if "driven by a motor," talks excessively

Impulsivity symptoms:
1. Blurts out answers before questions have been       completed
2.       Has difficulty awaiting turn
3. Interrupts or intrudes on others (butts into conversations or games)


Does any of this sound like you or your kid?  Of course it does!  It pretty much describes everybody that I have ever met.  Does that mean we all have ADHD?  No, that would be ludicrous!  

God this is infuriating!


When I failed to do any homework for a month or two in high school it wasn't because I have ADHD.  It was because homework sucked and I didn't want to do it!  


Unfortunately, there are lots of things in life that suck and we don't want to do.  That doesn't mean we need to be medicated though.  It means we have to do the best we can and then face the consequences of our actions.

Well that's it.  Are there any excuses that parents make that really irritate you?  Feel free to share.  I'd love to hear from you!

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