Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Dude! Please Don't Give that to My Son!

Have you ever had a moment where you just wanted to smack a complete stranger? 

Sure you have.

Well, this past weekend I have wanted to smack lots of strangers.  You see, we spent the weekend in Buffalo, NY helping my mother in law out with her tent at the Allen Town Art Festival.  She was one of the exhibitors there.  She does original oil paintings.

Anyway, as you might guess the place was mobbed with every type of person you can imagine.  There were barefoot hippies, drunks, rednecks, bikers, semi-intellectuals, a guy that looked and sounded like Denzel Washington, a lot of police officers, and so on.  The diversity was great!  But, I don’t do so well in crowds, so I was a little cross in the first place for just being there.  Well, soon enough I got even crosser while I was in line at the potty stations that wreaked of human feces and urine.

I am assuming that you all know what these port-a-potties smell like, so I won’t go into a full description of it because the stench wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.  The company was, but not the stench. 

You see, as I waited in line a bunch of crazies decided that they had to use the facilities too.  So, there I was stuck in line with a bunch of drunken loonies, waiting to relieve myself and get the hell out of there before they noticed my existence. 

Luckily, the little man wasn’t with me.

I mean there were men and women falling down drunk, there was a guy shouting out profanity at everyone, there was a homeless person begging for money who got irate when you tried to give him food instead, and there was a guy with a bible stapled to his shirt that was shrieking at us to do penance for our sins.

Apparently, the reason I had to piss was because god was punishing me. 

I don’t get it.   

Anyway, this added to my anxiety, but really didn’t irritate me too much.  I kind of expected it.  In other words, I didn’t want to strike anyone down yet, but that changed when an exhibitor gave my son a toy to play with.

“Great!” I thought. “Now, I am going to have to buy this Goddamn thing because there is no way I am going to pry it out of his grubby little hands now!”

It wouldn’t have been so bad if the lady would have asked us before she handed the little guy this wooden creation to play with.  But, no.  She just gave it to him knowing full well that most parents won’t make their kids miserable by refusing to buy the $15 toy for their kid.  I mean how could you make your toddler give a toy back that some stranger “gave” to them?  

Well, I am not like most parents.

Who am I kidding?  I am worse than most parents.  I will go broke just trying to make the little guy smile.  Of course I bought it for him.  But, that doesn’t mean I was happy about it.  I recognized the dirty trick for what it was.  


Who does that to someone else?  This exhibitor had kids.  She must of have known what would have happened if I hadn’t bought the toy from her after she gave it to my little guy to play with.  What if I couldn’t afford it?  Would she have given it to him anyway?

The beginnings of a toddler tantrum.  Who can say no to that face?
Of course not!  She doesn’t care if she breaks some poor kid’s heart by teasing him with a toy and then snatches it away from him when his parents can’t afford it.  She only cares about the money.  What does she care if she makes a baby cry inconsolably? 

What a …!

You know, I probably would have bought the toy for him anyway because it is kind of neat.  I just don’t like the idea of being forced to buy it in order to avoid a total toddler tantrum.  No one likes those.  The very idea makes me shudder a little.  As a parent I want my baby boy to be happy and that is a hard enough task without having some jerky lady hand him things that I may have to take away, making me the bad guy.   But, like I said I was going to buy the toy anyway.  I just wish she hadn’t given it to him beforehand.  


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