Monday, May 16, 2011

I've Come to the realization that I'm Just one Gigantic, Hairy Toy!

I don’t know how many people I have heard say that this being a dad thing will be “the hardest job you’ll ever love.” 

So far, I don’t know what the heck these other guys are talking about.  For me being a dad is easy!  All I have to do is everything I would normally do, minus watching the crazy R rated horror and action flicks I love.  Other than that, I just have a little wing man who tags along with me throughout the day. 

How cool is that? 

How can that be so hard?

Well, first of all, he is only 15 months old.  The hard stuff hasn’t even come up yet.  You know what I am talking about.  All the crazy stuff that I am sure he is going to do, and all the trouble he is going to cause at school and what not.  I already know that he is a mischievous little bugger, so I am fully prepared for it when he gets a little older.  

Ok, I am hearing derisive laughter now.  

So, I guess truthfully I am not fully prepared, but I am not going to be surprised if his mischievousness progresses with his age and gets him into some major trouble at some point when he’s a raving lunatic of a teenager.  

Secondly, I have to admit that I am a little wrong about how easy being a parent is.  It takes a lot of time and consideration, and if you are not ready for it, it can be quite overwhelming.  Luckily, my wife and I are up for it and love all the little challenges that being a parents involves. Yeah, I have to admit that kids, even mine, can be a bit exasperating, especially toddlers, but all that exasperation is well worth it.  Despite all of the trouble that they might cause kids are amazingly lovable creatures.  I mean, who else acts like you're some sort of rockstar whenever you enter a room?

Anyway, let's get back to the whole kids can be quite exasperating part because I have a good example of it.  We have been busy for the last couple of days cleaning up the house in preparation for a visit from one of our out of town friends.  She is arriving this afternoon, so I am supposed to be busy pickup and what not because we don’t want her to think that we are gross or anything, even if it is true.  Let her find that out after she has been here for a few days.  

Well, as it turns out, cleaning up is a rather difficult task when a toddler is involved.

Yes, go ahead and laugh at my revelation!  

I am...kind of.

Before this morning, I never knew exactly how hard it it could be to clean up around a rampaging toddler because I never really bothered before because what's the point?  It's just going to be trashed in a matter of seconds anyway.  

Well, that is correct.  And, to actually complete a cleaning takes forever!  

Holy smokes!

All morning I have been trying to vacuum, and every time I pick up his toys and put them away he runs over to his toy corner screaming “Na Na Na!!!” and then he pulls out the very same toys I just put away and slings them around the living room again!   The best part of it all is that he laughs at me while he is doing it like it is funniest thing! 

That’s pretty brazen! 

Doesn't he know that I could squash him like a bug?!

Who am I kidding? 

The little man rules over me with an iron fist.  He always has and he probably always will because I am a bit fearful of actually reprimanding him.  Why?  Well, I am actually a little afraid of making this fearless little guy scared of me.  

Yes, I realize that I am his da first and foremost, and his friend second, but I still would rather all the un-fun discipline stuff be handled by his mama.  She’s better at it than me, and I really just don’t have the heart for it.  Yes, I recognize that I am creating a potential major problem, but I am not sure what to do about it at this point.  

You see, I’m good at making sure he doesn't hurt himself, and I’m excellent at playing with him most of the day, but as for making the little man behave I am not all that good.  My wife is way better.  She can calm him down and bring him under control way faster than I can.  It seems that all I can do is make him spaz out and hyper as all get out.  It is like he sees me as one of his toys or something. 

That's it!  I’m just one gigantic, hairy toy to him!

It’s no wonder that he constantly messes with me when I try to do anything.  So, the question is, “How do I stop being a toy and start being a Da?”

I do know that I am eventually going to have to “lay down the law,” because this situation might get out of control, but I still want to be his playmate too.  That’s one of my favorite parts of being a Da.  I love playing with the little guy almost as much as I love snuggling him on the couch while he sleeps.  I guess that, like every other parent out there, I am just going to have to figure it out as I go.  I just hope I can figure it out soon.

No comments:

Post a Comment