Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I Don't Need Your Approval! I Have My Son's!

Yay!!!  Summer is finally here!   

You know what that means right?  People are finally going to stop complaining about how cold it is.  But, that also means that those same people are going to start whining about the heat now.   

Seriously, there is just no pleasing some people!

No, I am not really going to complain about people who complain about the weather because that would be foolish.  But, what I am going to do is tell you how we are got geared up and ready for the upcoming season here at my house, and how pathetic I am as a parent.

Since the weather has gotten warmer, I have noticed that more and more people are heading to the parks with their kids.  At first, I thought that this trend was awesome because it would give my little man more opportunities to play with other kids, but I quickly learned that this wasn’t as great as I had originally hoped.  It turns out that I don’t like other people’s children, and I don’t really like most of the other parents that show up at the parks either.  

Hmm...Maybe I am antisocial or something, but it seems like the only times that I feel comfortable at the park nowadays is first thing in the morning when no one else is there. 

Well, that time slot doesn’t always work for the little man.  For one thing, it isn't much fun to play by yourself at the park, and for another thing he isn't a huge fan of waking up.    

So, a few weeks ago I did what any other parent would do in my situation. I brought some of the park feeling home, which really means that we built our little guy a swing set and installed sand box of his very own to play with.

My wife and I came up with this idea a few weeks ago because we thought that it was what he really "wanted." Well, regardless of whether or not he really wanted his own swing set and sandbox it was a great idea because now we don’t have to worry about smokers invading our play time anymore.  Also, there are no older kids smearing bodily fluids over the slide,  and there are no stones for him to fall and hurt his little hands and knees on.

In a word or two.  It's Great!

Now, the only thing we have to worry about is sun protection. 

Well, that’s a quick and easy fix.  We just ran out and stocked up on some SPF 5,000,000 sunblock for kids and off we go.  Simple right?

Not so much…

Since last summer, I have forgotten how sensitive little ones are to hot weather.  Even with his SPF 5 million sunblock on the little man gets bright red and overheated, which scares the crap out of me to be honest with you. 

What to do about that?

Well, we did the unthinkable.  We ran out and got him a miniature circus tent that had a built in bug screen for him to play in.  

Awesome!  Sun protection and bug protection! 

His new tent is installed directly over the sand box, which is his favorite outdoor toy.  Now, he can play all day and be shaded from the sun and not eaten by bugs. 

What else could he possibly want?

Well, it turns out that even when he is in the shade he gets uncomfortable, so we got him a kiddie pool too.  But, I swear that is it! 

Nothing Else!

I mean it this time!

Yeah, I am aware that I said the same thing after we got him a cozy coupe, and I know that I said that I wouldn't buy anymore strollers after I bought a third stroller for no reason and now we have six I think, but I couldn’t help myself then.  Now, I don’t have a choice.  If we keep spending money on this kid we are going to go broke! 

It’s crazy!

What toddler needs all this?

Well, I can’t blame the kid.  He didn’t ask for any of it.  He was happy going to the park and listening to all the other people screaming and swearing at each other because he could ignore all that crap like I used to.  But, as a parent I can't just ignore it anymore.  I have a little one to protect and think about.  

So, I was the one that wasn’t happy going to the park all the time anymore.  Yeah we still go, but not as often.  All my son needed was sunblock, my wife and I, and he was happy.   

He didn't want anything else.  I did. It was all my doing.

I am the one who needed the swing set to be happy.  I am the one that thought a sandbox would be wicked cool.  I am the one that thought that the little circus tent was the cutest darned thing. I am also the one that thought he needed the kiddie pool.

What is wrong with me?

Why can’t I stop myself from buying him all this stuff?

Well, the kiddie pool was really for me.  I am not too proud to admit that I really wanted it because I wanted to play in it.  

Wait a minute!  I know that I am not I fooling anyone here.  The reason I buy anything for my son is because I really want it for myself.

Why else have kids if not for stealing their stuff?    

I know it seems pathetic that a 30 year old man wants to play with his toddler’s toys, but it is true, and I will no longer hide shamefully from it.

Yes, I sit in his kiddie pool on hot days; yes, the only reason I don’t swing on his swing set is because I am too heavy for it; yes, I play in his sandbox with his trucks and other toys; yes, I push his pooh choo train around and make pretend noises while he watches me; yes, I play with his Thomas the train set while he naps; and yes, I know I am pathetic for doing all this.

But, you know what?  I don’t care because I enjoy playing, and I really like playing with the little man.  I am not about to stop it either.   I don’t care if I look pathetic while I splash around in the kiddie pool with my son.  It’s fun, and it isn’t just fun for me but for him too. 

So, go ahead and think of me as a loser, and look at me scornfully when you see me.  

I don’t need your approval.  I have my son’s. 

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