Monday, April 11, 2011

Why Did You Become Someone's Parent?

Have you ever been out and about and watched other people interact with their children who obviously don’t really want them?  You know who I am talking about it’s those moms and dads who are constantly yelling at their kids in the store when they really aren’t doing anything wrong or even worse those parents in Walmart who tell their kids that they are worthless or even worse.  Every time I see things like that I always wonder why even have kids if you never wanted them? 

Well, the answer came to me one evening when I was chatting with my wife.  She said, “People really only become parents for one of two reasons.  They either really want to have children or they think that having children is expected of them.”  When you put it that way it is almost like they think they have no choice.  How terrible is that?

Well, I have thought about what my honey bear said. (By the by I usually call my wife honey bear or Woobie Woo or something equally sicky sweet) You know what?  What she said really makes sense to me.  Most of the people I know have kids because they really wanted them, but I am sure that there a few people that had a kid because they thought that was what married people were supposed to do or something.  But, what about the people who didn’t think about children as a possible side effect before they started “bumpin’ uglies?”  We all know that that happens, and it probably happens a lot, but that doesn’t mean that you are going to be a bad parent if it happens to you.  In fact, I firmly believe that how you become a parent has little to do with what kind of a parent a person is.  It all depends on whether or not you love your kids and can take care of them. 

So, there are really 3 different reasons that people become preggers and have babies; they either really want to have a baby; think that they are supposed to have a baby; or they don’t think about it at all. 

Honestly, I believe that no matter what the circumstances were when my son arrived in this world I would love him to pieces.  Somehow, he just makes our lives a little more complete, a little better.  You know, my wife and I spent a lot of time thinking about him and what he would be like even before we started trying to conceive.   We planned and planned until we finally couldn’t wait any longer, so we were one of the types that definitely thought about it before we had the little man, but did we really want him or did we have him because it was expected of us?  Well, of course we really wanted him!  The wait for him nearly broke our hearts, but believe me it was worth it.  Neither my wife nor I am the type to do something as big as have a baby because it is expected of us.  We had our little man because we wanted him dearly.  


Now, that doesn't mean that the people who didn't plan their babies or the people who had their kids because that is what they thought they were supposed to do don't love their kids just as much as I love mine.  It just means that the impetus for having their baby was different, nothing else.  I just find it interesting to think of the various reasons of why people have  children, and I like to categorize things.  It amuses me.  


Now I'd like you to ask yourself this question. If you have kids what made you decide to become someone's parent?    


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