Thursday, February 3, 2011

Blast you Bob the Builder!!!

Today is a sad sad day in my household.  It is the end of an era.  “Thomas the Tank Engine” has been dethroned as the king of my baby boy’s heart.  Who, you ask, has usurped Thomas’s rightful place as king of entertainment in Toddlervania?  Why, none other than that treacherously vile creature known as “Bob the Builder.”

The battle for the little man’s heart was brief and violent.  Bob’s attack was so sudden that I didn’t even see it coming.  Before I realized what was happening it was too late to come to Thomas’s aide with fortifications for his front lines.  Without my aide, Thomas had no choice but to retreat with the hopes of rising to power again someday.  Hopefully, that day comes soon.

As the smoke cleared from the battlegrounds, I realized something as I viewed the debris.  “Bob the Builder” initiated his assault on my baby’s heart months ago.  His sole aim was the destruction of “Thomas the Tank Engine’s” hold there.  Bob even had the temerity to infiltrate Thomas’s DVD’s recklessly.  It was only a matter of time before the little man became curious of this intruder who boldly displayed himself as a possible successor to Thomas.  Had I realized this then, I would have fast forwarded through the promos and advertisements that showed before every episode of “Thomas the Tank Engine” that we watched with the hopes of avoiding this tragedy.  

I think that it was actually Bob’s marching song that did the most damage.  It is just too catchy to ignore.  It is what allows “Bob the Builder” to imbed himself into the psyches of millions so thoroughly.  I mean really.  If blasted Bob managed to affix his marching chant, “CAN WE FIX IT?!...YES, WE CAN!” into a presidential candidate’s campaign slogan, what chance did a toddler have of fighting him off?   I guess I just never realized quite how powerful “Bob the Builder” was, and he is getting stronger every day.

In reality, having Bob dethrone Thomas doesn’t really bother me.  They are really pretty similar in that they both have similar wholesome messages and what not.  I just like Thomas a little more because he was around when I was a little tyke.  Watching Thomas makes me feel nostalgic.   He brings back memories of my childhood when life seemed so much easier whereas Bob does nothing for me personally.   Well, I can’t really claim that because truthfully I find Bob and his cronies dreadfully annoying.  It has nothing to do with their actions or their stories, but has everything to do with their voices.  They grate on my nerves so much that I can feel my brain rotting with each passing moment as they speak.  I can’t believe that so many children revere these characters who sound so vapid and simple that it drives me mad.

Unfortunately, what the little man likes has little to do with me these days.  Each day he is growing more and more independent.  If I want to encourage this trend in my son, then I have no choice but to allow Bob to be Thomas’s replacement and hope that it is only for a brief period of time.  We all know how easily swayed a toddler’s whims are.  I just hope that the little dobber doesn’t decide to stick forget about his old friend “Thomas the Tank Engine.”  Yet, should he then know this my poor, poor beloved Thomas.  Your untimely downfall will be noted in the history books as the work of a masterful betrayal, and you will forever have a place in my heart if not in my son’s.  Farewell, for now, my friend and rest easy knowing that I will do what I can to win you back into the little man’s favor.

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