Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Good Golly Miss Molly What the Crap is Going on Here?!

For those of you that know me, know that I tend to read parenting magazines and I always have the same gripe about all of them.  It just seems that the majority of them are all mom focused and dad is almost totally left out of the equation.  Well, I have found a few daddy mags.  Sure they are online magazines, but at least they are better for me than the mommy mags. Or aren’t they?

To tell you the truth I wasn’t impressed at all with these parenting as dads online publications.  They did nothing but reinforce old as dirt stereotypes and clich├ęs.   Honestly, after I read through a few of these articles I felt dirty and ashamed of my gender.  I mean there were articles that actually claimed that sitting in front of the television for a few hours was an excellent way to bond with your children after a long day at the office because, let’s face it, who really wants to interact with their kids now days? 

At first I assumed that the author of this crap was being sarcastic, so I kept reading.  I am not so sure now.  He kept saying things like going to the park is hassle because there are bound to be other screaming kids there and it is just a lot of effort that can be avoided by just watching T.V. together.  The whole article was like that.  I mean god forbid you do something with your children that they will enjoy and actually get something out of.  Yeah, going to the park with the little man irritates me because other kids are annoying, but I am not going there for my benefit.  We go because the little dobber likes it.  He really enjoys watching other kids play, and I firmly believe that he is learning from itJanu.  A little socialization outside of his normal circle is a good thing.     

So, after reading through that crappy article I e-mailed the author just to make sure he was joking around.  Maybe I need to work on my reading comprehension, but it honestly seemed like the guy was being completely serious.  I guess I will reserve my judgment on the guy until he gets back to me, but it has been two days.  I don’t think that it is likely to happen.

Anyway, so I read through a few articles of three or four publications and I automatically noticed something.  They were all pretty much the same.  I thought for sure I was rereading the same one over and over again because their articles all broke down into three categories, how to avoid spending time with your children, how to avoid paying child support, and how to find a good divorce lawyer.  Holy crow’s nest!  What is this all about?

Why in the world would anyone, man or woman, bring a child into this world if they wanted to avoid spending time with it?  It’s your kid darned it!  If you didn’t realize that it was going to take some effort to raise him or her than you should have waited until you either sobered up or moved out of your parents’ basement before you starting having sex with your partner or baby mama or whatever you call it.  I get it.  Kids are a hassle sometimes, but it isn’t their fault that you couldn’t figure out how a condom worked.

Speaking of condoms, I am reminded of another article I read that resembles another guy’s complaint about child support that aired on the Dr. Phil show, and the good doctor ripped this guy a new one.  Both of these guys complained about child support because they saw it as a punishment not as helping to support their children.  Apparently, they thought that since the kids lived with their mother that the mother should have to be stuck with the bill as well as raising them alone.  Talk about selfish.  You mean to tell me that these dead beats could begrudge their children a few dollars here and there in order to make sure that they are healthy, fed, warm, clothed, educated, clean, and happy.  Good golly miss molly that’s ridiculous!  Yeah, I am aware that child support is more than just a few dollars here and there, but no matter how much it costs you you’d probably be spending it if they lived with you anyway.  Living is expensive!   Maybe you weren’t ready when you started having sex to put someone else’s needs in front of your own, but you should have thought about it before the zipper hit the floor.   It doesn’t matter if the condom broke or if her birth control failed and you never wanted the child in the first place.  It’s too late now, and I sincerely hope that you never tell your child that you never wanted them.  It’s not their fault.  It was your actions that brought them into the world.  Now step up and make the most of it!  It’s the least you can do.  You owe them that much don’t you? 

I guess you don’t have to be a part of their lives or help them financially, but keep in mind that your kids will hate you forever if you aren’t and don’t.  You’ll probably not fare well in court either, so I bet you’ll want a good lawyer.  It seems that there are thousands who are dying to take you on so don’t worry.  You can be as choosy as you want to be.  Apparently, there are even websites that rate divorce lawyers and lawyers that deal specifically with child support.  Just google it.  I am sure you will find them. 

I am just dumbfounded because you know that if I have found three or four online magazines like that that there are more than just one or two guys that think like this.

 I finally come across some publications that are tailored to dads that are supposedly about parenting and that garbage is what I found.  These three or four publications are tons worse than any of the other magazines I have read thus far.  Yeah, I get annoyed that I continually find articles about makeup and tan lines with in the parenting magazines I get at home, but I would rather read 100 of those articles than read one about avoiding child support payments or how to avoid your kids while seeming like you are spending time with them.   Guys that write and find these articles useful can’t be dads.  They might be fathers biologically, but other than that they are useless. 

I guess there is some sense in the divorce lawyer articles because half of the marriages in this country end in divorce, but that doesn’t mean I have to like reading them.

I would never have thought I would say this, but, after seeing the alternative, I guess I would rather that the parenting magazines that are mommy centric would stay that way.  It saddens me deeply to say that.  There just has to be something better. 

Ps. I would like to apologize for all the crappy fathers out there.  Please believe me when I say we aren’t all like that.   


1 comment:

  1. Anybody can father a child --- it takes a real man to be a dad.