Thursday, December 9, 2010

LIAR! I'am a Big Fat LIAR! A Liar Liar Pants On Fire!!!

One thing that I have learned about being a parent is that it is important to lie sometimes.  Let’s face it.  We all do it.  Whether it is about Santa Claus or what really happened to a beloved pet, it doesn’t matter.  The point is that we all lie.   Some of us even lie to other people’s children too.  Like me for instance, I lied to some kids today while I was out shopping.  Apparently, I resemble Santa, so they asked me if I was him.  I looked at the lady accompanying them and she was nodding her head furiously at me and smiling, so I said that I was but they shouldn’t tell anyone I am here because I am doing research on this year’s toys.     I kind of wished I told them the truth because they wanted to tell me what they wanted for Christmas.  They also wanted to know why they didn’t always get what they wanted for Christmas. Great! I didn’t realize I was going to have to defend Santa’s honor against these two bratty kids.  So, what was I going to do? 

I lied.  I totally lied.  I said, “Well, if I gave you absolutely everything you wanted that would mean that you were exceptionally good all year, but you weren’t.  Not all year.  There were quite a few times when you acted poorly.  Plus, I don’t think you’re ready for a B.B. Gun, and you already have a perfectly fine music player.  If I brought you an I-Pod touch that would mean I would have to bring less to another child.  That doesn’t seem right does it?”  Apparently, that did seem fair.  I also took a shot in the dark and it paid off.  The brats were begging for a B.B. Gun and an I-Pod Touch last year.  They asked how I knew and I told them that I was Santa that’s how I knew.  The lady with them looked pretty creeped out though.  When the kiddies went to the toy aisle and make-up section she asked me how I knew what they wanted last year.  I said, “It was a guess, but I was going on the basis that most little boys who wear army tee-shirts want a B.B. gun and the I-Pod touch was heavily advertised last year and I just guessed that they both wanted one.”  Then she shook her head and walked away after she said thank you for playing along.  Apparently, she didn’t want to take them to see the mall Santa. 

The whole time I was wondering why the kiddies weren’t in school, but that was none of my business.  I also tried to imagine a situation when I would consider sending my brat up to a complete stranger and asking him if he was Santa Clause.  It seemed a bit odd to me at the time, but now that I think of it, it really isn’t all that different then letting them go sit on a store Santa’s lap.  When I really think about it, the store Santa’s seem really creepy to me.  I mean who would want to sit in a chair all day and have random children sit on their lap squawking and shouting about what they want for Christmas?  It doesn’t seem like it would be a guy that was “all there” if you know what I mean?  I could understand if you were doing it for family friends and actually knew the bratty kids that were sitting on your lap, but the store Santa’s have got to be crazy.  So what difference does it make really whether they talk to a Santa in a store versus a different stranger?  I probably looked safe enough since I had my baby with me, but it would have been nice if she would have clued me in first.  I hope she thought about it before she sent the kiddos up to talk to me.  I could have been really cranky and mean. 

Looking back, that situation has got me thinking about how far we, as parents, are willing to go to keep our kids happy.  We perpetuate lies that we know our kids will discover as such sooner or later.  But, I ask are we doing this to make our kids happy or to make us, the parents happy?  I am selfish.  I am going to lie to my kid to make me happy.  I want my baby to have that childlike innocence at Christmas forever.  It is going to be so much fun to make cookies for Santa with my son and then leave them out on Christmas Eve.  In my opinion, that is one of the best things about being a parent.  I truly miss having the ability to believe in things like Santa.  Having my son around means I have a chance to relive it a little bit.  When I was little that belief in Santa just made the whole holiday season so much more magical feeling.  I want my son to experience that too, so I am going to lie to him just like a lot of other people lie to their kids.  Now, I really want to get a Santa suit so I can get “caught” delivering gifts on Christmas Eve once or twice.    How cool would that be for a little one to actually watch Santa putting presents under the Christmas tree? 

So yeah, I lie to my son, and I am going to continue to lie to him.  I bet you lie to your kids too.  You probably even lie to other people’s kids as well.  They aren’t harmful lies or anything.  These tall tales aren’t meant for anything but fostering good spirits and cheer.  How can that be anything but advantageous?  Your child will appreciate it, and you will be able to rekindle some of your lost childlike sense of holiday cheer that you had when you were a believer.  Sure, your kid might get angry later on in life if he/she discovers that Santa is a hoax, but don’t take the magical qualities of Christmas away from them before that happens.  Trust me.  They will appreciate it, and so will you.  Chances are they won’t be angry enough when they find out the truth to displace the sheer joy they felt when they were little and waiting for Santa to come.  How do we know that Santa doesn’t exist anyway?  After all, he would not be the silliest thing that people believe in.

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