Thursday, November 18, 2010

Our Terrible Photos and the Task of Finding Clothes for The Little Man That are Photo Worthy

So, my wife and I decided to have "professional" photos taken of the little man and of us together as a family.  

Big mistake.  

First of all, my wife is never happy with any photo taken of her because she is super critical of herself, which greatly annoys me because I think she always looks great.  

But, what I think is not important.  

I know that.  

The other problem we had with this so called professional photographer was that the photos looked like crap.  They are cropped funny and they don't even come close to resembling what I thought I ordered.  

Oh well, that's what we get for getting photos done at Sears.  It was bad enough that we found it virtually impossible to find a cute outfit for him to wear, but to have the rookie photographer crop out most of the boy in a solo shot is just ridiculous!  

I almost understand why she did it for the family photos, but not in a solo shot.  What the hell was she thinking?! 

I should have known when we went to have our pictures taken that it wouldn't turn out the way we wanted.   But no, I didn't think that there would be anything wrong even though the photographer looked like she was in junior high.  We also made the mistake of scheduling the photo session to happen right in the middle of little man's afternoon nap time.  That was stupid!

He handled it extremely well though.  

My wife and I, however, did not.  We bickered just about the whole time.  She didn't like the pictures that she was in.  I did.  She didn't want any of them.  I did.  Honestly, I thought she looked beautiful, especially the ones that were of just her and our son.  

Unfortunately, I got overruled, which pissed me off, so we didn't buy any of the photos with my wife in them except for the two family shots.  

All in all, we ended up purchasing two family poses, one pose of the little man, and one with my son and I together.  I wasn't exactly happy with the arrangement, but I wasn't too unhappy either, and by the end of the whole ordeal I kind of just gave up.  

I guess I sort of saw the whole family portrait thing and the professional baby pictures thing as a rite of passage.  Everybody does it.  I just hope that every one else is happier with their photos than we were with ours.

I guess before I start ripping apart the photographer too much, I should say that she was really nice, and that I am hard to impress photo-wise.  

It seems like any idiot with a camera is a photographer, and having photo shop readily available makes it easy to make virtually any photo look nice and professional, which makes me wonder what the hell happened to our photos?  

I know she used a digital camera.  I know that she had access to photo shop.  I just don't know what she was thinking when she cropped and printed the photos out.  When you are taking a photograph of a family, wouldn't it be important to make sure that the entire head of every member of said family be in the photo?  

How did she not do this when she cropped it?  

I honestly can't believe that we paid for this.  

I should have paid our friend down the street to take our photos.  I know that he takes nice photos.  It would have been awesome!  We could have hung out, watched the little ones play together, had pizza and had him take a few shots of us with his camera.  But, no we couldn't do it that way could we?  

If we were going to have a family portrait done, we were going to do it like everyone else.  We were going to have it done in a studio by "professional."  Monkey Balls!.  Even I could have taken better photos.  Boy, am I sorry now.  I can't believe that I wasted my money like that.  Oh well, you live and you learn.  

That's the way it goes isn't it? 

You know, as pissed as I am about the photos being crappy, I am even more frustrated about not being able to find any thing for the little man to wear while having his photo taken.  I don't know what he would have worn had we not had a talented friend who knitted him a cute little sweater that looks awesome on him.  In reality, it is probably the nicest article of clothing that he has.    

I guess had we not had a gifted friend who could knit tiny sweaters, we could have went out and bought a tiny suit for the little man's photos, but do you know how hard it would have been to get it on him, let alone keep it on him.  I don't know about anyone else's nine month olds, but mine doesn't sit still for anyone.  And, if he doesn't like the clothes you have on him that's it.  Those clothes are coming off pronto.   

But, I would still like to know why it seems like there are so many clothing choices for little girls, but hardly any for little boys?  

Don't parents want their sons to have nice clothes too?  

We want more variety than the tiny suits, various cartoon themed outfits, sports themed outfits, and obnoxious cute saying outfits than are currently offered.  

It shouldn't be so damn hard to find a decent outfit for my boy.  Hell, I would even jump on the chance to buy a sailor outfit for him at this point!  

Unfortunately, that's a no go because we haven't been able to find one of those either.  What the hell is that all about?!  We managed to find a little girl's sailor outfit...great!  

At least now I know that if I have a little girl sometime in the future, she'll be able to wear a sailor dress.  

Awesome, right?!  

No, because it doesn't do me any good now.     

It's unfortunate that the options for little boy's clothes are so limited.  I can't tell you know how many stores we searched looking for photo worthy clothes for the boy.  

There just isn't a lot of selection out there.  

However, if he were a baby girl, we'd be all set.  We'd probably never even have to own a camouflaged pair of pants or coat because all the other choices were so incredibly hideous.  

Almost every time my wife and I go out shopping for the little man you can hear her say,  "What?  Don't little boys get to have cute clothes to wear?"  She's absolutely right.  They don't.  I think it is just retails' way of preparing them for the future.  

Have you ever noticed that the men's clothing and shoe section in stores is always about half the size of the corresponding women's section?  

The difference is, men supposedly don't mind.  We are not supposed to care about our clothes, which I don't.  But, they have got to realize that it's usually momma and dadda who buy the clothes for the little ones, and momma likes to have more choices.  

Dadda does too secretly.  

I won't lie.  I enjoy dressing my son up too, and there are a lot of times that I think I should dress my son up in little girl clothes because it is so hard to find occasion appropriate clothing for him.  After all, he won't know any better, and it will be fun to have photos of him dressed like a girl lying around when he gets older.  

So, with all this in mind, I am vowing to myself that I will fight like hell against ever having professional photos taken again because either I can do just as well as a professional photographer myself, or I know someone else who can for sure.  And, from what I have seen, the guy I know is better than most, if not all, of the "pro-photographers" in the department stores and studios around here anyway.  

I have also started to write complaint letters to the local retail stores about the egregious lack of clothing options for little boys in all of their stores.  The poor little boys are going to be stuck wearing cartoon themed clothes forever at this rate.  

"Where are the occasion specific clothes?" I ask.  

It is ridiculous and I want something done about it flabbernabit!  

Besides, I don't know how long he will still fit into his hand knitted sweater, and we will need to replace it with something soon.  So please, throw us a bone here retail stores.     


1 comment:

  1. come visit Europe, there are tons of cute boys clothes options. P.S. I didn't know your son was a ginger! (I love ginger boys)